don't say it!

Lake Superior State University puts out a list of "banished" words every year. The folks at LSSU seem to think they are superior in language because of their superiorness in lakes. I don't see the connection, but maybe I would understand if I had been a graduate of LSSU.

LSSU is a real school. Most of the students there graduate and stay in Michigan. The rest of them go to Ontario. That probably explains a lot. (Yes, I am making fun of Canada...again, BUT I'm also making fun of LSSU! So that should make you Canadians feel better!)

Here are few of their choices...with help from me to get around them.

Green: So, instead of Kermit being green, we will call him "Secondary color that is not purple or orange." It seems longer, but superior people find it is better to say that instead of green. They actually found it too easy to be green so they wanted to make it a little more complicated. It's not easy being secondary color that is not purple or orange.

Wall Street/Main Street: Now, if you work the stock market, you should say that you work on "place I put my Jonas Brothers posters on" Street. People will know you are talking about walls because there is no other place to put your Jonas Brothers posters. Main Street is a little bit harder. I can't think of anything clever about it, so I would just spell it differently. Like Maine, the state. Maine Street. Ha. Take that, LSSU.

<3: They hate that the heart symbol means love. They would much rather have you use up two more of your 160 text characters and fully write out the word love. Math folks are really upset because 2 actually does love 3 and found it meaningful and practical to write 2<3. Now, 3 doesn't think that 2 loves it anymore. They are going through a messy divorce. Good job LSSU.

Not so much: As in, "I rock, you...not so much." LSSU doesn't like this because almost every other U out there can say they rock, LSSU...not so much. I mean seriously! Look at where their graduates go. Ontario? Really!? I'd rather live in Texas. Ontario...not so much.

It's that time of year again: Remember where LSSU is? Yeah, it's always one time of year there, so they hate that people actually have different times of year. LSSU...jealous? Yes so much.

I think I have something for next year's list. Did you notice that some of these are phrases? They actually call this, on their website, a "list of words." Howzabout on the next list they say, "Using the word 'word' to describe words, phrases and emoticons." Take that Lake Superior.

I'm off to rock. LSSU, not so much.

Enjoy!

-DJ