Wednesday, February 18, 2009

how not to be a parent

Sometimes you read stories and wonder why certain people have kids. I don't have kids, BUT I'm pretty sure I'm a better parent than some folks out there. One reason why I think that is because I would never shoot my son with a BB gun.

This 9-year-old kid was blocking his father's view of the TV, so pop decided to grab the BB gun and shoot him in the behind. What is wrong with this guy?! I can understand it's annoying when somebody is blocking your view of Grey's Anatomy, but isn't a BB gun a little too much?!

And where was this gun? Does this guy have a BB gun holster sewn into the couch? If so, how do I get one of those? I can imagine someone trying to break into my house while I'm watching Caillou and I don't even have to get up. I stay reclined and draw my gun.

OOOOOH! How's this for a great line! Imagine me saying this all Clint Eastwoody, "I'm not gonna get up, sparky, but you're gonna get out."

I am so hardcore. Yet comfortable.

So, if you ever read this blog looking for parenting advice, there it is. Don't use a BB gun to make your kids move out of the way. Throw a stuffed bear at them or something. Or better yet, if you don't like people getting in the way of your "Spongebob Time," DON'T HAVE KIDS!

I'm off to work on that couch-holster.

Enjoy!

-DJ

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