flowers for valentine's day?

It seems a little strange, but I have a great gift idea for Valentine's Day. Flowers.

I know what you're thinking, "Flowers?! Who would want flowers? What kind of silly gift is that? I don't get it?"

Both men and women like flowers. They smell good and look nice. They even have these stores where you can buy flowers. That's all they sell. Flowers.

BUT, different color flowers mean different things. That's why I'm here. To be your flower compass.

Red flowers mean "I love you." Duh.

White flowers mean you might be color blind, but that's okay because you still got flowers and they smell good.

Yellow flowers mean that you think the person is hot like the sun. And the sun is really hot. I mean, you would be really hot too if you converted 4 million metric tons of matter into energy every second.

Orange flowers mean you're healthy. Like vitamin C. Because oranges have a lot of vitamin C. You could probably eat the flowers, too. I bet they would taste like oranges.

Blue flowers mean you fell in love in 1999 while listening to Eiffel 65. Da ba dee, da ba da. (I bet that song is stuck in your head now, isn't it?)

Now go pick up some flowers for your loved one.

I'm off to my blue house with a blue window.

Enjoy!

-DJ