the dolphin and the tiger

Here it is, your special "animal" edition of my blog. Animals are things that we humans like to look at, feed and sometimes they eat your head. I got to see a little bit everything.

First, let me tell you about the Gay Dolphin. This was not a dolphin that I met, but rather a place to shop. I don't know how long it has actually been around, but I imagine it's been there for a while. This is, as they claim, the largest gift shop in the east coast. I'm not sure where the boundaries of the east coast are, but I will agree this place is pretty big.

The sad thing is that they everything EXCEPT a bunch of stuff that actually says "The Gay Dolphin." This place was huge, and had stuff you would NEVER buy at a gift shop. Like a bird bath. It didn't even say Myrtle Beach. It was just a nice place for birds to shower. Why would I buy that at a gift shop? I can't fit that in my luggage and take it home...or could I? Hmm...

Anyway, wouldn't you want a coffee mug with a dolphin on it that said "The Gay Dolphin?" I think they're missing out on a HUGE market. Who cares about a fly swatter that says Myrtle Beach? I want a light blue t-shirt that says "The Gay Dolphin got me this sweet tee." Look me in the eyes. Now tell me that shirt wouldn't sell. You can't, can you? I thought not.

Now, if you're looking for some live-action dolphins, you can go into the ocean. That's what I did. After 5 seconds of training, I drove a jet ski into the ocean. I will tell you that you should not be allowed to drive a jet ski into the ocean without at least 10 minutes of training. It's really not safe, but at least I signed a waiver allowing my death. So, yeah...it's really my own fault.

You fly out there and sneak behind a shrimp boat. Then these dolphins will swim around you. It's actually kinda cool. They couldn't care less that you're there. They're probably just thinking that stupid humans are in the way of their shrimp-boat trailing. And possibly thinking about the Bose-Einstein condensate because that's fun to think about. I would suggest doing it...the going out into the ocean to see dolphins, not the condensate thing. And do it with a qualified jet skier. Not with me. Unless you like being scared and wetting your pants.

Finally, there is a place that has tigers. They also have a liger. You can get your picture with a baby tiger and a not-so-baby tiger. The baby is cute and cuddly and soft. The not-so-baby is hefty. The people there lift this tiger out of their cage and plop him on your lap. Then they take a picture. This thing is would eat my head if it didn't have a bottle of milk in its mouth. Thank goodness tigers love their nuks.

I'm off to condensate.

Enjoy!

-DJ