I hate super glue. Or, if you'd rather, cyanoacrylate. I know it's effective in suture-less surgery and fragging. If you are a doctor or coral enthusiast, respectively.
I also know ballerinas love it when they have a shank problem. But seriously, it's such a waste of money. You buy this little tube that is only good for one use. It's nearly impossible to use the same tube twice.
It also gets all over your skin and pajama pants. Luckily, those two things weren't touching when that happened last night.
And for those of you out there saying that you never have a problem? You're lying. And for lying, I will glue your pants to your shoes.
On the plus side, looking up cyanoacrylate allowed me to use the words fragging and shank. I don't really know what they mean, but they sound fun!
I'm off to super glue a fragging shank.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
hand shower
Our sink faucet at work has a button on top that lets you change how the water comes out. Instead of the normal round waterfall, you can change it to a shower-type spray.
When I was a kid, my kitchen sink had something similar, but it was mostly for cleaning dishes because the spray was stronger than the regular faucet spout. The one at work is gentle.
It's like a soothing shower. For your hands. And I love it.
It's like washing your hands under a mountain stream with the wind rustling through the trees. There are bunnies and deer around enjoying relaxing music from a harp. Maybe a few mermaids are resting on the rocks. Stream mermaids, not those ocean ones.
Then I finish washing my hands and I'm back at work. No bunnies. No deer. No harps.
At least the mermaids are still here.
I'm off to the wash my hands again.
Enjoy!
-DJ
When I was a kid, my kitchen sink had something similar, but it was mostly for cleaning dishes because the spray was stronger than the regular faucet spout. The one at work is gentle.
It's like a soothing shower. For your hands. And I love it.
It's like washing your hands under a mountain stream with the wind rustling through the trees. There are bunnies and deer around enjoying relaxing music from a harp. Maybe a few mermaids are resting on the rocks. Stream mermaids, not those ocean ones.
Then I finish washing my hands and I'm back at work. No bunnies. No deer. No harps.
At least the mermaids are still here.
I'm off to the wash my hands again.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Friday, September 25, 2009
the power of one wheel
I bet you were riding your unicycle the other day and thought that it would be so much easier to use if only it had a motor on it. That would save you from all that pesky pedaling that you normally have to do.
Well you can thank the fine folks in Japan for making a unicycle with a battery that will move ON YOUR COMMAND! You can move forward by leaning forward! Want to go left? You lean left! It's that simple!
I bet you never thought you could unicycle with such ease! And with a top speed of 3.7 miles per hour?! WOOOOO DOGGY! Look out world! I may leave a trail of FLAMES behind me!
I may...if I'm directly in front of somebody lighting matches.
Does anybody even ride unicycles? Why would you? To weave through crowded streets better? Or just to look dorky?
I think I'll make life easier for people and create a unicycle with an extra wheel for stability. I'll call it the dual-wheeled unicycle.
I'm off to find somebody with a pack of matches.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Well you can thank the fine folks in Japan for making a unicycle with a battery that will move ON YOUR COMMAND! You can move forward by leaning forward! Want to go left? You lean left! It's that simple!
I bet you never thought you could unicycle with such ease! And with a top speed of 3.7 miles per hour?! WOOOOO DOGGY! Look out world! I may leave a trail of FLAMES behind me!
I may...if I'm directly in front of somebody lighting matches.
Does anybody even ride unicycles? Why would you? To weave through crowded streets better? Or just to look dorky?
I think I'll make life easier for people and create a unicycle with an extra wheel for stability. I'll call it the dual-wheeled unicycle.
I'm off to find somebody with a pack of matches.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Thursday, September 24, 2009
big bears
A company is now selling giant gummy bears. For $30, you can get a gummy bear that is 9.5 inches tall and weighs 5 pounds.
That's about 1,400 regular gummy bears. Or about 90 servings.
They are calling it the world's LARGEST gummy bear. All I can say is, "Really? That's as big as they could get it?"
When I'm being told that the world's largest gummy bear is available, I'm hoping for something that is AT LEAST 5 feet tall. I want something that will allow me to drive in the carpool lane. I also want something I can eat in the carpool lane.
Don't get the wrong idea...if you gave me this 9.5 inch gummy bear, I wouldn't throw it back in your face and say gummy-tinged obscenities. I would still eat it. But after 90 servings, I would crave more. So it's best to buy me two.
It comes in three flavors. Red, green, and blue. I'm fond of red flavor. But I also like green flavor. Blue flavor is good too.
I'm off to find the world's largest gummy worm.
Enjoy!
-DJ
That's about 1,400 regular gummy bears. Or about 90 servings.
They are calling it the world's LARGEST gummy bear. All I can say is, "Really? That's as big as they could get it?"
When I'm being told that the world's largest gummy bear is available, I'm hoping for something that is AT LEAST 5 feet tall. I want something that will allow me to drive in the carpool lane. I also want something I can eat in the carpool lane.
Don't get the wrong idea...if you gave me this 9.5 inch gummy bear, I wouldn't throw it back in your face and say gummy-tinged obscenities. I would still eat it. But after 90 servings, I would crave more. So it's best to buy me two.
It comes in three flavors. Red, green, and blue. I'm fond of red flavor. But I also like green flavor. Blue flavor is good too.
I'm off to find the world's largest gummy worm.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
run like the wind
Can you run? I can't. It's hard. I've been going to the gym for a while and enjoy the elliptical. I have found out that running is WAY harder than that. I can elliptical for about 30 minutes and not have a problem. If I run for about 10 minutes I'll collapse.
I got up to 13 minutes the other day. I was pretty excited.
I decided to run because I figure running has more real world applications than ellipticalling.
For example: If an elephant starts chasing me and all I have are elliptical skills, it will probably catch me immediately and beat me with its tusk or a lead pipe or something.
If I can run, I may come across a cache of ancient samurai weapons within 7 minutes of my 13 minute limit (and 'minute limit' is also really fun to say!). Therefore, I could defend myself with a wakizashi or a naginata and possibly extend my life a little bit.
Even though elephants are trained in many forms of martial arts, I'm pretty skilled with a wakizashi.
I'm off to run.
Enjoy!
-DJ
I got up to 13 minutes the other day. I was pretty excited.
I decided to run because I figure running has more real world applications than ellipticalling.
For example: If an elephant starts chasing me and all I have are elliptical skills, it will probably catch me immediately and beat me with its tusk or a lead pipe or something.
If I can run, I may come across a cache of ancient samurai weapons within 7 minutes of my 13 minute limit (and 'minute limit' is also really fun to say!). Therefore, I could defend myself with a wakizashi or a naginata and possibly extend my life a little bit.
Even though elephants are trained in many forms of martial arts, I'm pretty skilled with a wakizashi.
I'm off to run.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
rock your socks
Hold onto your socks, kids! This news could quite possibly rock them completely off! Even if you have some of those tube socks that go all the way up to the knee. Fully. Knocked. Off.
And if you're wearing ankle socks, then I wouldn't even bother looking for them. They'll be out of orbit. We'll find them on Mars in about 300 years.
Are you ready for the news?!
I bought socks.
Okay, so I was being a little dramatic, but I was going for a whole sock theme. I really wanted to talk about socks because the socks I bought came in a re-sealable bag. Like a ziploc freezer bag. Except for socks. Which I wouldn't regularly put in the freezer to keep fresh.
Maybe you do. I can't imagine the NEED for a ziploc top for my socks. I suppose it would keep them from being knocked off, but only if properly stored and zip-locked.
What the heck is that zip thing really called, anyway? It's not really a zipper. It's definitely not velcro. It's a thin strip of plastic being pushed into another piece of plastic.
Hold on...I gotta look this up...
Okay, I can't find anything except interlocking curvilinear grooves, but that sounds more like a bunch of mathematicians breakdancing.
Which actually sounds pretty entertaining.
I'm off to put on some new socks.
Enjoy!
-DJ
And if you're wearing ankle socks, then I wouldn't even bother looking for them. They'll be out of orbit. We'll find them on Mars in about 300 years.
Are you ready for the news?!
I bought socks.
Okay, so I was being a little dramatic, but I was going for a whole sock theme. I really wanted to talk about socks because the socks I bought came in a re-sealable bag. Like a ziploc freezer bag. Except for socks. Which I wouldn't regularly put in the freezer to keep fresh.
Maybe you do. I can't imagine the NEED for a ziploc top for my socks. I suppose it would keep them from being knocked off, but only if properly stored and zip-locked.
What the heck is that zip thing really called, anyway? It's not really a zipper. It's definitely not velcro. It's a thin strip of plastic being pushed into another piece of plastic.
Hold on...I gotta look this up...
Okay, I can't find anything except interlocking curvilinear grooves, but that sounds more like a bunch of mathematicians breakdancing.
Which actually sounds pretty entertaining.
I'm off to put on some new socks.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Monday, September 21, 2009
i love nasa
Why? Because they can build light-clouds. Like a sky-firefly.
There are these clouds called noctilucent clouds that light up. They are really, REALLY high up in the sky and are visible ONLY when the sun is below the horizon. This creates a cloud that lights up EVEN AT NIGHT! How cool is that?! The earth does some pretty amazing things, right?
Well, not to be outdone by the earth, NASA decided to create their own noctilucent cloud. And they succeeded! They also accidentally succeeded in lighting up the East Coast with flashes that people thought were aliens.
Woops.
If we can make clouds that light up the sky, we won't need street lights anymore! We could save billions in electricity. Granted, it probably cost NASA billions to make one cloud, but it's still pretty cool.
Is that the only reason I love NASA? No. NASA is also sweet and caring and writes me love poems. Like this one:
"I've seen the universe
I've seen the moon
but the world is empty
without yoon."
Eh...the thought is there.
I'm off to light up the sky.
Enjoy!
-DJ
There are these clouds called noctilucent clouds that light up. They are really, REALLY high up in the sky and are visible ONLY when the sun is below the horizon. This creates a cloud that lights up EVEN AT NIGHT! How cool is that?! The earth does some pretty amazing things, right?
Well, not to be outdone by the earth, NASA decided to create their own noctilucent cloud. And they succeeded! They also accidentally succeeded in lighting up the East Coast with flashes that people thought were aliens.
Woops.
If we can make clouds that light up the sky, we won't need street lights anymore! We could save billions in electricity. Granted, it probably cost NASA billions to make one cloud, but it's still pretty cool.
Is that the only reason I love NASA? No. NASA is also sweet and caring and writes me love poems. Like this one:
"I've seen the universe
I've seen the moon
but the world is empty
without yoon."
Eh...the thought is there.
I'm off to light up the sky.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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