fly from any part of your body

Have you ever put on your socks and thought, "Wow...these are lame socks. Sure they have fancy designs. Sure they are argylicious. Sure they have little robots on them. But where's the zing? Where's the zang? Where's the cape?"

Of course you've thought this! And that is why you can now buy socks with CAPES! That's right! The back of the sock has a cape sewn onto it so you can now have the pizzazz you need to make your socks SUPER!

Why aren't there more clothing items with capes? I mean, really, why can't I have some pants...WITH CAPES! It would go just below the cape from your shirt...with a cape.

And what about mittens! Mittens with capes would be PERFECT!

I already have a few capes to wear. And they are super. But imagine how much MORE supererer I would be if my socks and mittens and pants and shoes had capes!

That's, like, super times a MILLION! Plus THREE!

That is the kind of super I want to be.

And you do to. So buy socks with capes. You won't regret it.

Wear them with shorts, too. That would be totally awesome.

I'm off to find my zing and zang.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

of the month club

Have you ever been a part of an "Of The Month" club? I haven't, but I should. There is a PB&J of the Month Club! That sounds yummy! You get different peanut butter and different jelly every month.

That MIGHT sound awesome, BUT there is also a Black Socks of the Month Club! These folks will send you a new pair of black socks every month! You NEVER have to worry about going out for socks again!

You know what I need? An Underwear of the Month Club. Well, maybe not. That's a LOT of underwear. I did not know this, but underwear does NOT last forever. It starts falling apart after a while.

Unfortunately, finding new underwear is harder than it sounds. Underwear must be out of season, because I really can't find any good quality undies. I bought some Hanes because they SOUND like a good name. But they got holes already. I only had them for about two weeks.

Maybe underwear is fresher in the spring? I don't know.

I DO know that I just talked about underwear, socks and peanut butter for the last few minutes. I bet THAT makes your day a little better/weirder.

Sorry about that.

I'm off to see if my socks came in.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

rock your socks

Hold onto your socks, kids! This news could quite possibly rock them completely off! Even if you have some of those tube socks that go all the way up to the knee. Fully. Knocked. Off.

And if you're wearing ankle socks, then I wouldn't even bother looking for them. They'll be out of orbit. We'll find them on Mars in about 300 years.

Are you ready for the news?!

I bought socks.

Okay, so I was being a little dramatic, but I was going for a whole sock theme. I really wanted to talk about socks because the socks I bought came in a re-sealable bag. Like a ziploc freezer bag. Except for socks. Which I wouldn't regularly put in the freezer to keep fresh.

Maybe you do. I can't imagine the NEED for a ziploc top for my socks. I suppose it would keep them from being knocked off, but only if properly stored and zip-locked.

What the heck is that zip thing really called, anyway? It's not really a zipper. It's definitely not velcro. It's a thin strip of plastic being pushed into another piece of plastic.

Hold on...I gotta look this up...

Okay, I can't find anything except interlocking curvilinear grooves, but that sounds more like a bunch of mathematicians breakdancing.

Which actually sounds pretty entertaining.

I'm off to put on some new socks.

Enjoy!

-DJ

off of the center

I've had a weird few days. I have been feeling a little light-headed. On the plus side, I got new socks. They have dinosaurs on them. Roar.

I think the equal in in my equilibrium is off. I know it's spelled differently, but I still like the joke.

Have you ever sat in your chair and felt like your legs were tilting one way and your torso is staying still? That's what it feels like. Like my legs are on a boat and my body is on a plane. Which SOUNDS fun...and it actually kinda is. Even though I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to feel like that.

So, I'm not sure what could be wrong with me. I looked it up on Web MD and I don't like their answers.

Lucie thinks I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if that is true. I have a feeling it is not, though I can't be sure. I should get one of those sticks with a plus and minus sign.

MY theory is that I've accidentally become a gateway to another dimension and my body is adjusting to the transition. I only hope it's a fun dimension. Maybe one where EVERYBODY has dinosaur socks. Mine are green with little, black brontosauruses. (I know what you’re going to say, “We're supposed to call it an apatosaurus now.” But really, brontosaurus is so much cooler.)

Oh, it's also thought that my blood-sugar is just low. I like that idea. I should probably eat some candy to get sugar. Yeah. I like that medicine.

I'm off to eat a cookie...for my health!

Enjoy!

-DJ