ok...what was that word again????????

According to otohir...no...otorhini...wait, I'll get it...otorhinolaryngologists (GOT IT!) you should not pluck your nose hairs.

I never even knew that there were otorhiblahblahblahgists out there! I have NEVER heard that word before! And if I never heard of it, I prefer it to not exist.

So, how can I REALLY know that these otorwhatevers DO exist? Hmmm...

I will say they don't. That means I can pluck all the nose hairs I want!

But I won't. Because that will hurt.

And my sicnapologogogolist told me not to. Oh, you don't have one of those? You should get one. They're great. They live in mountains that move on clouds on the planet Portusga. If you go there, ask for Dr. Uypbosjjjjjjjslkf.

Sounds made up? Really? This from the person who claims to have a otorhinolaryngologist!

Pffft.

Pluck whatever you want. If plucking is good enough for chickens, then it's good enough for me.

Did you know that a chicken worried about its beak will go to a falpinogosnopogist? True story. No really, it is. I've been to one. I was once a chicken. With a sick beak. I had to go.

Now I'm a human and I go see REAL doctors. Because that's how I roll.

I'm off to check my beak.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

chickens

I saw chickens in West Springfield. Just walking around. Like, real chickens. Not in a fence or on a leash or anything. Free-range chickens in West Springfield.

Did anybody know that there were wild chickens in West Springfield? I mean, really. Is that legal? I know there have been some wild animal sightings in my town, but chickens? There was a fisher cat once. I also saw a possum (opossum?) once. That's kinda like a wild animal.

I did not see any eggs.

So...that was my weekend. Chickens. Wild chickens.

I didn't believe it at first so I took a picture. The picture is real and exists on my phone. So if you are going chicken hunting, come to West Springfield. We got the wildest chickens in the west!

Apparently I live on a farm. Huh. Who knew?

I'm off to milk a cow...because I live on a farm.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

crazy march

Somebody at work asked me to fill out a bracket. I think money is involved, but I cannot confirm that. Partly because it is illegal and partly because I get confused when people start talking about sports and forget to pay attention.

So, in order to prepare for the madness that happens in March, I have printed out a bracket. I don't get it. There are a bunch of cities and they have numbers next to them. Yeah...that's about all I can tell you.

I don't think all of them are cities, actually. Xavier is on there. I'm pretty sure he's the guy who found the X-Men. I don't THINK he plays basketball, but he might!

Also, Gonzaga is on there. They have the number 4. Gonzaga?! Is Gonzaga a city? Is it a cheese? Is it a little mouse that plays basketball?

OH! And Purdue is on there. I know FOR A FACT that he makes chicken! I think this whole bracket thing is a scam. Chickens do NOT play basketball. Scientists have tried to teach chickens how to play basketball, but it just can't be done.

Who will be my champion, you ask? Well, I figure I'll put the chickens against the X-Men for my final game and clearly the X-Men will win. I mean, Wolverine has claws that come out of his hands. If that doesn't take care of a chicken, I don't know what will.

I'm off to fill my bracket.

Enjoy!

-DJ