grab your favorite mug

I love it when directions tell me to put "hot water into your favorite mug." Directions are so helpful. If they did NOT tell me that, I might have put the hot water into my least-favorite mug! And how could I enjoy a hot beverage that way?!

I don't think that's on everything, though. If I cook vegetables, it doesn't say "put hot vegetables onto favorite plate."

I do have a favorite plate. Spider-Man is on it.

Do you have favorite stuff? Like, with everything?

TV should have directions to sit on your favorite chair. Or the soap should say, "Get into your favorite shower and turn water to your favorite temperature!"

I have a favorite temperature. I call it "feel good" degrees. I don't know what number it is, but I can tell you when it gets there.

So sit back in your favorite chair and enjoy your favorite blog on your favorite computer with some of your favorite drink in your favorite mug. And, if you are in the favorite mood, eat some of your favorite candy off of your favorite plate.

I'm off to play favorites.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

a valentine poem

If you're looking for a Valentine's Day poem for your loved one, I wrote it for you. Recite this:

Star Wars, G.I. Joe and Spider-Man are great movies.
I like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Batman.
Superman. Nova. Rocket Raccoon. Iceman.
The Hulk. The Flash. Captain America.
And you.

oh...and Wolverine is awesome!

The End.

After you use this poem, your partner will melt into a pile of goo. Don't do it over something absorbent like a sponge or cotton balls. I don't know how gooey your man or woman will become, but sometimes it's a very liquidy goo that will get sucked right up by a sham-wow.

You have your warnings and you have your poem. Go forth and make valentiney.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

snow day? go joe!

The best thing about snow is that you are stuck indoors. And when you're stuck indoors, you can watch movies!

If you're like me (which would be scary), then you have a few favorites that you watch all the time. Maybe when you're sick or feeling lazy and you just want to watch a movie, you'll put on Star Wars or Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and just relax to a great film.

Well, I have a new movie to add to that list. G. I. Joe. I know! I can't stop talking about this movie! It's that good!

And it's perfect for a snowy day!

Why is it so good? It's like a comic book put in motion. It's the best comic book movie I have ever seen. It is better than Spider-Man, Batman and X-Men. No joke. G.I. Joe is what those movies SHOULD have been.

G.I. Joe Movie Maker: "What did you give your movies?"

Other Superhero Movie Makers: "Boring Juice."

G.I. Joe Movie Maker: "Then I'm going to give my movie AWESOME JUICE!"

Other Superhero Movie Makers: "Whatevs."

And thus, a great movie was born.

I know I'm talking about the G.I. Joe movie a lot, but I mean, did you see that chase scene?! SO COOL!

Okay, I'm done, for now. I will try to stop talking about it, but I can't promise anything.

I'm off to get some awesome juice.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

special election

I didn't want to talk about it until it was over because I didn't want to influence anybody's vote. But, now that the special election is done, we can examine what happened.

If you're curious, the person I voted for didn't win. Who did I vote for, you ask? The Hulk.

I know, I know...the Hulk didn't have a chance, but I really supported his views. He IS quoted as saying, "Hulk like candy," and "Hulk like unicorns," so I thought he was the best choice.

Just in case you missed the results, Spider-Man (the Arachnid candidate) is now the King of Myroomdia. Batman (the Eutheria candidate...bet you weren't expecting that one! Look it up, it's real!) was a close second and Hulk was a distant third.

I liked Spider-Man's plans for the Infinity Wars, but I couldn't get past the deal he made with Mephisto (google "spider-man mephisto deal" and you'll understand).

I didn't like Batman at all. Especially his security measures of having a base on the moon and satellites watching our every move. He also talked a lot about healthy eating and exercising. That was boring.

No, I didn't forget about Darth Vader, but I don't think ANYBODY voted for him. He IS pretty evil, so I HOPE nobody voted for him.

I'm off to play in Myroomdia.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

superman?

I don't know how I missed this, but apparently Superman was the Inspector General of Homeland Security once. Of course, he went by the name Clark Kent...Ervin...but still.

I like to follow the news now, but back then, I didn't care that much. Lately, I've been hearing a lot from Clark Kent Ervin and he is now the head of the Homeland Security Program at the Aspen Institute.

His name really is Clark Kent Ervin. His older brother told his parents that they should name the new baby after his favorite super hero. They did. This is why his parents are awesome.

This is ALSO why children should name babies. It's WAY cooler!

Good names for babies: Batman, Spider-Man, Nightwing, Hulk, Nova and Rocket Raccoon.

Now, Clark Kent...Ervin...goes by that name. Obviously because he knows how cool it is to BE CLARK KENT! (ervin)

Would I like to meet him someday?

Yes.

Will I rip open his shirt to see if he has a costume on underneath?

I'd consider it, but since he's Superman AND part of Homeland Security, I feel like my chances of getting away from that situation unharmed are pretty slim.

But I like those odds.

I'm off to Aspen.

Enjoy!

-DJ

the future is now

By that, of course, I mean digital comic books. I try to stay away from my obsession when writing my blog, but I just HAVE to tell you about this!

I’m sure you’ve heard of Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Hulk and the Fantastic Four. They’ve all had movies. As you know, they started as comic books in the Marvel Comic Universe.

Well! A while back, I got a subscription to their digital comics AND IT IS AWESOME! They have a bunch of old comic books and newer comic books online and they look amazing!

I have been reading comics nonstop this week. You should join. I haven’t had time to check my email or Facebook or anything. I mean, who cares what somebody is doing when Nova is saving the universe! YES! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! THANK YOU, NOVA!

Should I find out what people are eating for dinner or what present they got on Farmville, OR read about the Avengers battling Ultron to save Earth? AVENGERS!

My new year’s resolution is to get other comic book companies to put their comics online. You will never have another dull moment in life. You will never be bored again. Heck, you might just have to quit your job so you can read comic books all day. EVERY DAY!

It’s going to be a good year!

I’m off to read more digital comics.

Enjoy!

-DJ

talking with your heart

Valentine's Day is coming up soon. I already got my cards. They are, as if you didn't already know, awesome. I got Spider-Man motion-cards this year. So, it's almost like Spider-Man is moving RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES! Pretty rad, right? And they have clever messages like "I'm caught in your web." I don't know who writes that stuff, but they are smart.

It's also that time of year when you get those hearts with messages on them. I found out that a company is making candy hearts called "BitterSweets." They have mean messages on them instead of nice ones.

For example:

"U LEFT SEAT UP"

"FORGET WE MET"

and "DORKAPHOBIC"

Of course, they have to fit all this on a tiny heart, so spelling and grammar are often ignored, which is fine by me.

I was thinking, though, about a brilliant evolution to the conversation heart besides just making them mean. Why don't they make big ones so you can put a personalized message on them? Wouldn't it be sweet if you got a giant candy heart that said, "You are the most wonderful person in the world and I love you. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Instead you get something like, "TOO HOT." That's a little boring. I would rather it said, "Some people say you are too hot, but you are really just hot enough. And by hot enough, I mean you are way hotter than everybody else, but you don't exceed the necessary amount of hotness."

That is just way more romantic.

Some of them just don't make sense like, "IM SURE." What are you sure of? With my new, patent-pending giant heart, you would know! "I'm sure you already know this, but I love you more than my comic book collection. Which is crazy, because I totally love my comic book collection. I mean, comic books are totally sweet, but I still love you more than that. I'm sure about that. Totally sure."

I'm pretty sure that's what they mean when they say, "IM SURE."

AND, YOU GET TO EAT A GIANT SUGAR HEART! Uh...I'm sold!!!! Hook me up with dat!

I'm off to converse with a heart.

Enjoy!

-DJ

tie a tie

I was talking to somebody about objects that are also the verbs used to create them. It's strange that you can "tie a tie" but you don't "belt a belt" or "drive a drive." Why is that? Did ties get their names because that is what you had to do to put it on? Were people just lazy?

I mean, there are many words that could be used to describe this item. It could have been a sloopy. I have to tie my sloopy today. It could have been a fwip. I have to tie my fwip and then put on my jacket. I would have liked calling in a fwip. It sounds more fun that tie. Fwip also sounds like something Spider-Man would do. FWIP!

I guess you also toast bread to create toast. That's almost the same as tie. When you heat up chicken, it's still chicken. If you were going to heat up some vegetables, you don't change their name. Carrots don't become steamies.

Where was I going with this? I don't know. I might go dial my dial or play my play or read a read or write a write to figure it out. I probably won't do any of those things, though...because what I just wrote doesn't even make sense to me. If you can understand what is going on here, well...I don't know what that says about you. I am so completely lost right now.

I'm off to tie my fwip.

Enjoy!

-DJ

putting on your uniform

Sometimes I wish I could dress up like a superhero everyday. Not like the generic skin tight stuff, but the weird and cool stuff like goggles, long jackets and boots. Kind of like a cross between Starman and Neo. That will make sense to all of zero people. Sorry...

Maybe a costume that would change with my thoughts. You know, kind of like the black costume in the last Spider-Man movie. More people will get that one. I could think about wearing a tux, and it would change into a tux! If I need to look young and hip, I could look at a picture of the Jonas brothers and copy their outfit. I'm pretty sure they're young and hip.

I don't know if a lot of people do this, but I get my outfit ready for the next day. I do this during the week. I don't do it to make sure it looks good, but because I don't want to look around my closet at 4am. I'm tired and I don't want to risk wearing my extra baggy "I'm fat" pants with my super tight "I swear I have pecs to show off" t-shirt.

Not only do I set my clothes out, but I also get my pants ready. That means I put the belt through the loops and all my stuff into my pockets. I don't want to forget my wallet or keys when I'm rushing out in the morning.

I do sometimes feel dorky getting my outfit ready for the next day, but I don't care when all I have to do is pull up my pants and buckle while you "morning dressers" are fumbling with belt loops and looking for your keys.

It's kind of like picking out your "first day of school" outfit. Do you remember when you were so excited about your new clothes that you wanted to lay out your outfit for the first day at school? I probably tried it on a million times just to make sure it worked. I'm sure I (thought I) looked totally cool on the first day of school.

If you were like me, you put on the outfit and the new shoes and checked yourself out in the mirror thinking you were hot stuff. And, I'll tell you, in my room, alone, I was hot stuff. When you see other people and remember where you stand in the pecking order of school, you quickly remember that you're not hot stuff...mostly just the stuff part. Well, at least I was, I don't know about you. You were probably hot stuff and your clothes were awesome. Still are, in fact!

The clothes were fine, actually. I think it was just me who made the clothes less awesome. I have some old pictures of me before my first day of school and I remember one where I'm wearing a Ghostbusters shirt. I look pretty happy in it. I was probably 5 or 6. I bet I had that outfit ready to go for a week and I probably thought I was hot stuff...and I clearly knew what to do about ghosts.

Who was I gonna call? Probably not the Ghostbusters. Well, I tried once, but I didn't get anybody. Watch the original movie. It's a 555 number. I didn't know those were fake at the time, so I called. I'm pretty sure a ghost needed to be busted.

Do you ever get so excited about a new outfit that you lay it out the night before you go to work? Is that more of a kid thing? I think I have actually bought new clothes that I wanted to get ready for the next day. I haven't done it recently, but I'm sure it's happened. Maybe I'll go buy a new outfit so I can lay it out for Monday. It'll be my "first day of the week" outfit.

I'm off to find out what the Jonas Brothers are wearing.

Enjoy!

-DJ

from forest hills to broadway

As some of you may know, I went to New York yesterday to audition for "Spider-Man: The Musical" on Broadway. Yep. I could be singing songs about webs and stuff. I can't think of what I would actually sing about, but I'm sure they would be spidery.

It has music written by Bono. Yeah. From U2. U2 loves Spider-Man. With or Without You is actually about Spider-Man and Mary Jane. True story. Bono told me that yesterday when I didn't talk to him because he wasn't actually there. So...yeah...100% true!

I went with Sarah Rose, Emily and Peter. Peter didn't actually want to try out for a part, so he was our cheerleader. Surprisingly, he looked pretty good with a skirt and pom-poms. I was skeptical at first about his decision, but I think his cheering helped us get through the long wait.

If you're interested in all the gory details about yesterday's adventure, sit back and relax! It started with a long drive and lots of traffic. Well...it wasn't TOO bad, but it wasn't great. Then, there was a quick bathroom stop in chinatown. That bathroom was scary, but not as scary as the one I'll describe later on.

We waited in line for about four hours or so. In that time, Sarah Rose and I found a store with a bathroom. We had to walk into their basement, which felt like a sauna, and try to find the doors for the bathroom, which you couldn't find because it was PITCH BLACK! Trust me, it was scary.

We also felt random droplets of water falling from buildings during the line wait. I don't know where they were from and I have a feeling I don't want to know. It wasn't rain because it was VERY sunny. Can a building make sweat? I'm beginning to think they can.

So, after waiting in line in the heat and building sweat (that's so gross) we finally got to the door to go in and sing our little hearts out. After singing (amazingly, I might add) we left. We had about a minute to impress the judges. I don't know how well we did because some other folks were asked to sing in front of a camera. We were not. That might not be good.

On the other spider-hand, it might be great because MAYBE they only wanted to tape people who they definitely did NOT want so they would remember who they really didn't want to come back.

I don't really believe that theory, but it makes me feel better about the day.

It was fun and totally worth it. I've met people who tried out for Broadway shows and I figured I never would. Now I have and there is still a slight chance I will be cast as Spider-Man. I really think I should have tried to stick to the wall when I sang...that would have impressed them. I'm like a wacky wall walker! (remember those things you got out of the quarter-machines at the supermarket? yeah...that's what I'm like)

That's a slice of my day in the city. I hope you enjoyed it! If you are casting for a superhero musical, keep me in mind. I can sing like Iron Man, Superman, and Batman as well. Just in case...

I'm off to stick to walls!

Enjoy!

-DJ

an open letter to spider-man

Hi again folks! It's good to be back on the blog today. I hope everybody enjoyed the weekend. It was a HUGE weekend of entertainment. Not only did my show, Grease, rock the house, BUT our main competition, The Dark Knight, became the biggest opening for a movie ever! Wow...I haven't seen Batman...yet. I hope I can get to it now that grease is over.

Since I did take last Thursday and Friday off, I had some time to kill and relax before my show. In that time, I decided to write a letter to Spider-Man. Yeah. I haven't written to him in a long time and I figured he missed me.

Okay...so it wasn't really to Spidey himself, but rather to the editor of the comic book, Steve Wacker. You don't really have to know what's going on in the comic book to understand the letter, but I thought I would copy the letter onto my blog so you can see what goes on in my strange little world of comic books. I wrote it after reading Amazing Spider-Man 565. There has been a lot of hype about the stories "Brand New Day" and "One More Day" that changed the whole spidey-world. Hopefully that is all the background you need. Here goes...



To: NY-Spideyoffice
Subject: ASM 565 okay to print

Hey Spidey-Folks,

I didn't know where to put the okay to print, so that's the subject. Is that cool?

It's been many, many years since I wrote into a comic book. My first printed letter was in Spidey a LONG time ago. I think what really made me feel like writing was the sign on the comic book store that said "Hey Adults! Comics!" That's so true...I am an adult now...sort of.

Anyway, everybody else is complaining/praising BND. I thought to myself, "I'm willing to bet everybody wants to hear my opinion too." Those are things I tell myself to feel important...ahem...so here are a few comments and questions I have.

First, I have to ask, when planning out One More Day, did you call it OMD all the time? And if so, did you make "If you leave" jokes often? I would have. And I would have thought they were funny every single time.

So far this letter makes about as much sense as a dragon on a skateboard. Sorry, I don't really have coherent thoughts. What I think I really wanted to say was that the past few years of Spidey were awesome. Then, OMD happened and it was a cop-out (is that hyphenated?). I don't mind cop-outs in comics. It happens all the time, but for some reason, this one just didn't seem to fit the character. BUT, I was hopeful. BND (do they sing "One Week"...oh no....that's BNL...sorry) seemed like it might work. It started a little slow and then Bob Gale wrote an issue. Wow. That was brilliant. Tell Bob he's my favorite. I was sadly disappointed with the rest of the brain trust. Which is weird because I liked most everything the rest of the guys have done in the past. I mean, I really liked Slott's She-Hulk. It was great. I don't know what happened. Sorry, Dan.

The art teams you've been getting on the book have been wonderful too. Kudos to the art team getter person.

So, that's it. I am going to give this new direction a year or so to see if things start to build. Right now it feels about as sporadic as my letter. Maybe I'm being lenient, but I grew up with Spidey and I'm just not ready to give up on him.

Oh, and Steve. Some readers don't like you as an editor. I do. I like fun editors in my comic books. A few years back I used to read X-Men and there were two guys I always liked. I can't remember their names, but they answered with blue and red text. That was fun too. So you keep up that good work and don't let those other kids make fun of you.

I think that's it. Did I say okay to print? I think I did. I'd check for spelling and grammatical errors, but really, it's not like anybody will read this.

Thanks!

-DJ
West Springfield

So there you go. Wanna know what he sent back? A picture of a (komodo) dragon on a skateboard. That Steve is a clever one.

Also, if you didn't know, Bob Gale was the guy who wrote Back to the Future and now he's one of the main writers on Spidey. Cool, right? I loved Back to the Future.

"Waitaminute...Doc...You built a time machine? Out of a DeLorean?" HA! Brilliant!

I'm off to look for a flux capacitor.

Enjoy!

-DJ