putting on your uniform

Sometimes I wish I could dress up like a superhero everyday. Not like the generic skin tight stuff, but the weird and cool stuff like goggles, long jackets and boots. Kind of like a cross between Starman and Neo. That will make sense to all of zero people. Sorry...

Maybe a costume that would change with my thoughts. You know, kind of like the black costume in the last Spider-Man movie. More people will get that one. I could think about wearing a tux, and it would change into a tux! If I need to look young and hip, I could look at a picture of the Jonas brothers and copy their outfit. I'm pretty sure they're young and hip.

I don't know if a lot of people do this, but I get my outfit ready for the next day. I do this during the week. I don't do it to make sure it looks good, but because I don't want to look around my closet at 4am. I'm tired and I don't want to risk wearing my extra baggy "I'm fat" pants with my super tight "I swear I have pecs to show off" t-shirt.

Not only do I set my clothes out, but I also get my pants ready. That means I put the belt through the loops and all my stuff into my pockets. I don't want to forget my wallet or keys when I'm rushing out in the morning.

I do sometimes feel dorky getting my outfit ready for the next day, but I don't care when all I have to do is pull up my pants and buckle while you "morning dressers" are fumbling with belt loops and looking for your keys.

It's kind of like picking out your "first day of school" outfit. Do you remember when you were so excited about your new clothes that you wanted to lay out your outfit for the first day at school? I probably tried it on a million times just to make sure it worked. I'm sure I (thought I) looked totally cool on the first day of school.

If you were like me, you put on the outfit and the new shoes and checked yourself out in the mirror thinking you were hot stuff. And, I'll tell you, in my room, alone, I was hot stuff. When you see other people and remember where you stand in the pecking order of school, you quickly remember that you're not hot stuff...mostly just the stuff part. Well, at least I was, I don't know about you. You were probably hot stuff and your clothes were awesome. Still are, in fact!

The clothes were fine, actually. I think it was just me who made the clothes less awesome. I have some old pictures of me before my first day of school and I remember one where I'm wearing a Ghostbusters shirt. I look pretty happy in it. I was probably 5 or 6. I bet I had that outfit ready to go for a week and I probably thought I was hot stuff...and I clearly knew what to do about ghosts.

Who was I gonna call? Probably not the Ghostbusters. Well, I tried once, but I didn't get anybody. Watch the original movie. It's a 555 number. I didn't know those were fake at the time, so I called. I'm pretty sure a ghost needed to be busted.

Do you ever get so excited about a new outfit that you lay it out the night before you go to work? Is that more of a kid thing? I think I have actually bought new clothes that I wanted to get ready for the next day. I haven't done it recently, but I'm sure it's happened. Maybe I'll go buy a new outfit so I can lay it out for Monday. It'll be my "first day of the week" outfit.

I'm off to find out what the Jonas Brothers are wearing.

Enjoy!

-DJ

back to school

The kids are going back to school and they want stuff. New clothes and new pencils and new stuff. I remember one year that I HAD to have those pump sneakers. I don't remember who made them, but they were brilliant.

Think about it. Let's say you're a kid and you wear a size 6 shoe. But your foot is really a 5 and 3/4 size. You don't want to go a size down because that would be too small, but a 6 might feel a little loosy-goosy (loosie-goosie? loosey-goosey? I don't know). So, PUMP IT UP! How sweet is that? Fits perfectly now. Your foot is snug and you don't have to worry about your shoes floppin all over the place. If you recall, I'm not a huge fan of floppin on my feet.

You know what would be great? Other items of clothing that pump up to fit you better. I have a tough time with shirts. I'm a small and a half. It sometimes depends on the company that makes the shirt, but on average, a small is too small and a medium is too big.

So, what if I could pump up my medium shirt to fit perfectly? That would be great! I know what you're thinking...maybe I could pump up a little bit, i.e. lifting weights, so I fit into a medium a little better, but really, doesn't that sound like effort? It does. So let's not talk about that again.

I also remember really wanting a hypercolor shirt. That was the shirt that changed color with your body heat. I think I had a green one that would turn yellow when I got hot. Oddly enough, it was always yellow. (get it? I was so hot that it was always yellow.) I kinda wish they still made those shirts. They were cool.

What did you have to have before school? I'm pretty sure all the stuff I HAD to have didn't help me become popular...actually, I'm totally sure that it didn't help. Mostly because I was the opposite of popular. If there was a word to describe unpopular as even more unpopular than unpopular, that was me. No amount of hypercolor could help that. Oh well.

I'm off to pump up my shoes.

Enjoy!

-DJ