Valentine's Day is coming up soon. I already got my cards. They are, as if you didn't already know, awesome. I got Spider-Man motion-cards this year. So, it's almost like Spider-Man is moving RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES! Pretty rad, right? And they have clever messages like "I'm caught in your web." I don't know who writes that stuff, but they are smart.
It's also that time of year when you get those hearts with messages on them. I found out that a company is making candy hearts called "BitterSweets." They have mean messages on them instead of nice ones.
For example:
"U LEFT SEAT UP"
"FORGET WE MET"
and "DORKAPHOBIC"
Of course, they have to fit all this on a tiny heart, so spelling and grammar are often ignored, which is fine by me.
I was thinking, though, about a brilliant evolution to the conversation heart besides just making them mean. Why don't they make big ones so you can put a personalized message on them? Wouldn't it be sweet if you got a giant candy heart that said, "You are the most wonderful person in the world and I love you. Happy Valentine's Day!"
Instead you get something like, "TOO HOT." That's a little boring. I would rather it said, "Some people say you are too hot, but you are really just hot enough. And by hot enough, I mean you are way hotter than everybody else, but you don't exceed the necessary amount of hotness."
That is just way more romantic.
Some of them just don't make sense like, "IM SURE." What are you sure of? With my new, patent-pending giant heart, you would know! "I'm sure you already know this, but I love you more than my comic book collection. Which is crazy, because I totally love my comic book collection. I mean, comic books are totally sweet, but I still love you more than that. I'm sure about that. Totally sure."
I'm pretty sure that's what they mean when they say, "IM SURE."
AND, YOU GET TO EAT A GIANT SUGAR HEART! Uh...I'm sold!!!! Hook me up with dat!
I'm off to converse with a heart.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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