Did you watch the Oscars? I watched as much as I could...which wasn't much. It's really pretty boring. A lot of those "thank you" speeches take TOO LONG!
You thank everybody and say a whole bunch of names of people NOBODY HAS EVER HEARD OF!
BUT, I have an idea. I'm going to have to become a famous actor and win an award for this to work, but the struggle will be totally worth it if I can make this happen.
So, I'm up for winning an Oscar for best actor. Or even supporting actor. I don't care, as long as I win it. I will pay a little kid $100 to sit in my spot all night. 8-years-old seems like a good age.
Then, when I win, he or she will have the best speech. It will be written in crayon and it will say this:
"I want to say thank you to everybody who got me to where I am today. Thank you. And I drew a picture of a kitty and a walrus driving a Model T. Wanna see?"
The cute little kid will then show the audience the amazing picture I drew of a kitty and a walrus driving a Model T. The audience will love it and the kid can keep the Oscar.
I have a backup plan just in case I have to be there to accept my award. They have camera people up and down the aisles to catch you walking up to the stage. They try to stay hidden, but you can see them moving around sometimes. I want to run up to one on my way to the stage and tickle him. Ideally, they will go to a shot of that camera. If not, then I'll just look weird, but that will be ok because I'm an actor.
I'm off to get my award-winning role.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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