lost stuff in space

A few cosmonauts (that's Russian for astronaut) were hanging out at the International Space Station this morning and...well...dropped a few things.

Fyodor and Mikhail were working on the station's new research room and things got slippery. Woops!

What did they drop? They weren't sure. Looked kinda like an attachment fixture. No biggie. They got some wire they can use to attach the new cables. Kinda like a twisty-tie.

Then an hour later, ANOTHER "something" started floating away. Uh-Oh! Butterfingers!

It's a good thing they have plenty of wire up there!

Mikhail: "Oh crackers." (translated from Russian)

Fyodor: "What?"

Mikhail: "Uh...nothing. Hey, you said we got some extra wire, right?"

Fyodor: "Yeah, why."

Mikhail: "Oh...no reason...you might wanna get that extra wire, though. And maybe a twisty-tie."

Phew! Problem solved.

I'm off to learn more Russian.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

crab queen

Ocean City, NJ is holding their 37th Annual Miss Crustacean Beauty Pageant for hermit crabs.

This implies that they have done it 36 times already.

1. After 36 years, how have I not heard about this yet?

B. What is going on in Ocean City that they decided to have a beauty pageant for crabs!?

It's based purely on good looks. No questions or bathing suits or anything. The prettiest crab wins. They win a crown and a cucumber trophy.

Hermit crabs look like they'd be good knights. They already have a suit of armor on. They have pointy legs. It would be pretty cool to have them fight stuff like evil demons or jellyfish. The crabs of the round table with King Crab Arthur.

OOOOH! And one could have a wizard hat! Merlyn the Hermit Crab! Or maybe he would be Hermyn the Hermyt Crab.

I'm not very good with English to Old English to Hermit Crab translation. I didn't even know there was an English to Old English to Hermit Crab conversion until I made it up just now.

Do you have a pretty hermit crab? Well you better get to Ocean City! The contest starts soon! But if you miss it this year, it seems pretty likely that they'll do it again next year. I mean, if nobody stopped it yet...after 36 years...it's prolly gonna happen again.

I'm off to decorate my crab.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

ninja time

Are you a ninja? If you are, that's cool. If you are NOT, welllllllllllll then, have we got a deal for you!

There's a guy in New York who will teach you "effective methods of self-protection" including "how to avoid the assault of a sword."

He can teach you how to be a ninja for only $195 a lesson! That's a bargain!

So, if you're looking for something to do this summer. Why not become a ninja?

Or maybe get a gift certificate for a loved one so they can become a ninja? I heard grandma wanted to learn some kenjutsu.

Even if she didn't say that, she was totally thinking it. All grandmas love ninjutsu.

I'm off to practice effective methods of self-protection.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

jelly vs. pitch

Or Fish Versus Fork! A jellyfish started attacking people at a beach in New Hampshire so a lifeguard grabbed a pitchfork and forked the jellyfish!

I want that lifeguard at my pool! A pitchfork?! It's like a trident! Maybe the lifeguard is actually Poseidon, God of the Sea! He used to carry a trident around.

How cool is that?! It's like Clash of the Titans around here! Giant mutant jellyfish are attacking the people and Poseidon, dressed as a lifeguard, is protecting humanity!

Can you imagine fighting off those tentacles with a pitchfork? Pretty awesome! I bet people tried shooting it with lasers first, but that didn't work.

OOOH! Maybe there was a damsel in distress, too! But Lifeguard-Poseidon (scuba gear sold separately) forked the giant, mutant jellyfish and it let her go. Then he caught her. And she looked into his eyes as his long hair was blowing in the breeze and said, "Help Poseidon. You're my only hope."

The battle went on for days, but everybody is now safe.

So, that was pretty epic. Oh, and if you actually read a news story about this, it might be different than what you just read, but mine is the truth. Newspaper people just didn't get all the facts. I did.

I'm off to find my trident.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

chuck e. cheese

So there's a mouse named Chuck E. Cheese. He seems like a decent guy. He owns a pretty sweet business. Pizza AND games! Now THAT'S how you make money!

But what is his middle name? E. That's all we know about him. I did some research and found two possibilities. And it took me a LONG time to find these! Mr. Cheese did NOT make this easy!

One rumor is that it stands for "Entertainment." Now, that seems fun, but not likely. When have you EVER met anybody with the name Entertainment? Never. It's barely a real name.

The other rumor is that there is no middle name. They just wanted it to sound like Chucky. But instead of calling him Chucky, they made sure you said his middle initial. That seems odd, too. Why even bother? Why not just call him Chucky Cheese? It's the same thing, isn't it?

There seems to be a lot of rumors and half-truths surrounding this Chuck character. I'm kinda thinking he might be one of those Russian spies. Or maybe he's a U.S. spy working in the Pizza and Gaming Agency.

Or the P.G.A.

WHOA! That's also some golf thing! This conspiracy goes deeper than I thought! It's a good thing I'm writing this from the safety of an underground bunker. I can already tell that they're after me.

So be careful. Golfers who love pizza and using coins to win things with tickets are a very dangerous group of highly trained ninjas. You have been warned. Hopefully you'll hear from me again. You never know who's listening.

I'm off to get some "pizza" and "games" and "secrets."

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

write like right

I heard about this site called "I WRITE LIKE" or something and I tried it. Basically, you copy and paste some of your writing onto the website and it will analyze it and tell you who you write like.

Turns out, after trying three different blog entries, I write like three different people! Dan Brown, Chuck Palaha-somethingish, and Stephen King.

I actually haven't read anything by any of them. I did use my UFO blog from last week and that was the "Stephen King" write-like. Maybe I got SK because I wrote about UFOs. But I also wrote about baby ducks, which aren't scary. Unless he wrote a book about ducklings that kill you with quackness.

Or maybe they have eyes that turn into knives and shoot out at people! Those would be some scary ducklings! I would call that movie "What The Duck?!"

It would also be in 3D. Like "How To Train Your Dragon." But different...because it doesn't have dragons.

Turns out this blog is also written like Stephen King. I guess it's scary. But not in a "Cujo" kinda way. More like a "why do they let this guy write blogs" kinda way.

I'm off to write like me.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

the china ufo

Wow! Did you see that? It was a UFO in China! I watched the video. It's totally cool.

I guess it happened last week, but the videos and pictures are just coming out now. And nobody seems to know what it is.

If they do know, they aren't talkin'!

They had to shut down the Xiaoshan Airport for an hour to let this thing pass! It was like when you have to wait for some stray ducklings to cross the road.

Maybe it was a little lost ship crossing the space. It just needed to get across the sky to get to its mommy. And that stopped air traffic.

So don't be mad! It's just a baby! It doesn't know any better! Give it a break!

Sometimes you can lure baby spaceships across the sky faster with bread crumbs and plutonium. I don't know why they didn't try that.

Baby spaceships are cute. And it's funny when their feathers get all ruffled up.

I'm off to find some bread crumbs.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ