ninja bird vs. pirate panda

Okay, so I don't actually have any pirate pandas.  Nor do I have any ninja birds.  BUT!  That's only because they are extinct!  The birds, I mean. 

Scientists have found the bones for an extinct bird in Jamaica that would whip its wings around like nunchaku. 

So making a giant leap to a dramatic conclusion, these ninja birds fought evil pirate pandas to protect Jamaica from invasion.  Since pirate pandas like invading things. 

If you were planning a trip to Jamaica 10,000 years ago, you might want to have thought again.  In the first place, time travel is still a little shaky.  Secondly, you don't want to get attacked by ninja birds.

Ninja birds also protect the space-time continuum from time travelers like you. 

And you might look like a panda.  If you're like me, you will always wear your panda suit when you travel.  Especially for time travel. 

Other animals are extinct, too.  Like dinosaurs.  They didn't need to learn the ancient art of ninjutsu.  They were pretty huge, so really, they could just step on you. 

If a Stegosaurus DID learn martial arts, it could probably mess you up! 

Here's today's lesson: Don't travel back in time.  Ninja animals might attack you.  It's not worth it.  Unless expedia has a REALLY cheap price.  Then it might be cool. 

I'm off to nunchaku.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

ninja time

Are you a ninja? If you are, that's cool. If you are NOT, welllllllllllll then, have we got a deal for you!

There's a guy in New York who will teach you "effective methods of self-protection" including "how to avoid the assault of a sword."

He can teach you how to be a ninja for only $195 a lesson! That's a bargain!

So, if you're looking for something to do this summer. Why not become a ninja?

Or maybe get a gift certificate for a loved one so they can become a ninja? I heard grandma wanted to learn some kenjutsu.

Even if she didn't say that, she was totally thinking it. All grandmas love ninjutsu.

I'm off to practice effective methods of self-protection.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ