bad at keeping time

Have you heard about this Doomsday Clock? It's not a very good clock. I mean, the time changes all willy-nilly! Some guy can just move it forward a minute or two. But then, another guy can go there and move it back!

What kind of clock is that? I might miss Sesame Street! Or my plane! Or anything else that will happen at any previously planned designated time!

I mean, I have this clock at home that keeps going. Like, I set it once, and then the second hand keeps going around and the minutes keep moving forward and stuff and I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to go.

But this Doomsday Clock is getting moved back and forth by some evil scientist.

At least, I imagine it's an evil scientist. What OTHER kind of scientist would name something a "Doomsday" clock?!

I've read enough comic books to know that when "Doomsday" is used to describe something, that something is made to destroy the world.

Here's my idea. Move the minute hand WAY before doomsday o'clock and take the batteries out. This way, we won't have to worry about any doomsdayery happening.

If possible, could we move it to 2:30? I like that time. That's when it's time to go to the dentist. (That joke makes me laugh EVERY TIME!)

Or, if that's not possible, could we at least set it to Pretzel Time. That'd be swell. Thanks.

I'm off to set my clock.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

get him to the geek

Be warned, this is a comic book rant. I REALLY try not to do this too often, but sometimes people just get me so riled up.

You can skip today's blog and I will not be offended. It's totally not worth your time. I just have to get it out. Seriously, don't read it. It's really long. TOO long. Just come back again when I write about something interesting, okay? Thanks.

SO! There is a new Superman comic coming out. It's actually a graphic novel that revamps the story of Clark Kent moving to Metropolis. And people are FURIOUS!

They have this picture online of a young Clark looking like...well...what a 20-ish kid would look like today. People are saying they should never mess with such an iconic character. They say he looks like he's from Twilight or something. Okay, so the kids from Twilight are, like, in their 20's, right? I guess that makes sense. Shocking.

People should really read comic books. They've re-told the superman story a million times! In face, the whole DC Universe is constantly resetting itself! But people don't know that, so they just say all sorts of stinky things. And I'm insulted!

The art is beautiful. The artist, Shane Davis, should know that he did a great job. The inks and colors look awesome, too. And the writer, JMS, well...most of the time he's really good. I'm HOPING this is one of the good times.

BUT! All these people are posting mean things under the news story! They don't even know what's going on in the DC Universe! It's just so frustrating to read their comments. It hurts when they insult your passion and they clearly don't know anything about it. Sorry, but I'm sensitive.

I DO hope that maybe somebody who never read comics sees this new Superman, who looks like somebody from this decade, and decides to read it.

Now, if somebody wants to have an intelligent discussion about comic books, I'm all for it. But please know your stuff.

Okay. Rant done. I'm sorry you had to see that. But people SHOULD really think before they say such horrible things. And THAT is your life lesson for today. The more you know. Whoosh.

I'm off to do my breathing exercises.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

bring me 3-D

I love that movies are in 3-D now. It's so much better. I can't even watch a movie if it isn't in 3-D anymore. It doesn't look real. I can TOTALLY believe a 3-D movie.

And that is why I want comic books to get in on this 3-D action. Comic books are a tough sell these days. BUT, if they were in 3-D, I bet EVERYBODY would buy them! Why would you read a book when you could read a comic book in 3-D?!

I know there is all sorts of new technology for the new 3-D movies, so there has to be some way to make comic books look totally rad in 3-D.

That's all. I just kinda want that to happen.

Maybe if we all join hands, we can make it happen. Or an online petition. I've heard of both of those things working in the past.

I'm pretty sure 3-D comic books would bring world peace. I saw a study on it once. I may have done the study in crayon on the back of a paper placemat, but it was still a study.

100% of the people I asked said that it would create world peace. I asked myself and that was my answer. 100%.

Done.

I'm off to start holding hands.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

the future is now

By that, of course, I mean digital comic books. I try to stay away from my obsession when writing my blog, but I just HAVE to tell you about this!

I’m sure you’ve heard of Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Hulk and the Fantastic Four. They’ve all had movies. As you know, they started as comic books in the Marvel Comic Universe.

Well! A while back, I got a subscription to their digital comics AND IT IS AWESOME! They have a bunch of old comic books and newer comic books online and they look amazing!

I have been reading comics nonstop this week. You should join. I haven’t had time to check my email or Facebook or anything. I mean, who cares what somebody is doing when Nova is saving the universe! YES! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! THANK YOU, NOVA!

Should I find out what people are eating for dinner or what present they got on Farmville, OR read about the Avengers battling Ultron to save Earth? AVENGERS!

My new year’s resolution is to get other comic book companies to put their comics online. You will never have another dull moment in life. You will never be bored again. Heck, you might just have to quit your job so you can read comic books all day. EVERY DAY!

It’s going to be a good year!

I’m off to read more digital comics.

Enjoy!

-DJ

comic books are full of nutrients

Some amazing scientists have figured out what most of us knew all along. Comic books are just as sophisticated as other forms of reading.

BAM! Take that Dan Brown! Let me put a whole bunch of words on a page with no pictures. Blah, Blah, Blah, LAME!

The research found that, and I will quote them, "if you really consider how the pictures and words work together to tell a story, you can make the case that comics are just as complex as any other kind of literature."

If you can't understand that scientific mumbo jumbo, let me explain. Comic books are awesome.

The end.

We are one step closer to my own personal utopia. Now I just have to keep funding the research that proves candy is good for you.

I'm off to (I'm sure you can guess this time) read comic books.

Enjoy!

-DJ

the collector

So, yesterday I talked about my sticker collection. It wasn't really a collection, but it kinda counts. It was like a toy chest and it just had stickers all over it. I imagine there are people out there who had real collections that involved pages of stickers in a particular order.

Page 12: Rainbow Horses

Page 26: Puffy Stars

Page 33: White Unicorns

Page 47: Shimmery Dolphins

Page 75: Lemon Scratch 'n' Sniff

And so on and so forth. My sticker collection was a little less organized.

Me: OOOOH!!! I have a Transformers Sticker! (then I would put it on the chest)

That was it. Not very organized. I did also collect ALF Cards. That was a little bit more organized because they were numbered. The ALF cards were not very creative. They were just pictures from the show with random bits of information on the back about the show.

I also collected McDonald's toys. I had a LOT of those. This was back before everything they gave away HAD to tie in with a movie. I had great stuff from them that were just their own characters. I had little McNugget Men and Lunch Boxes that had the characters on it. I even had a red Ronald spoon. And about a million other toys from them.

I'm sure I collected a bunch of other things, but I spent too much time organizing ALF cards to remember it all.

Then I got older and realized that it was time to stop collecting silly toys, so I started buying comic books. They're easy to organize because they are numbered and they smell good. The smelling good part has nothing to do with organizing them, but it has everything to do with how awesome they are.

I'm sure you collected something when you were younger. I'd love to hear about it. Some people collect stamps. Some people collect coins. Some people collect children. Some people collect rocks. Some people collect hair. Whatever it may be, let me know!

I'm off to check out page 33 (with 47 a close second and 75 third...then back to 33).

Enjoy!

-DJ