happy hogan

(singing) It's the hap-happiest day of the year!!!!!!

No really...scientists have proven that June 20th is the happiest day of the year. If you've ever read my blog, you know that I'll make up stuff and say "scientists have proven that blah blah blah." BUT! This time, I'm not lying. This is from actual research from actual scientists.

Here is the equation: O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He

O = outdoor activity, they don't say what N is, S = social interaction, Cpm is "positive childhood memories", T is temperature and He is "anticipated vacation time."

At first, I thought He was helium, but when I used that in the equation the answer was "a so-so day with floating balloons." Not as exciting.

So, since I missed a big holiday this week, I decided to create a formula for Mortician's Day! How did we miss this?!?!?! It happened on Monday. I forgot to get my mortician a card. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me (hey-oh!). Sorry...bad joke.

Anyway, are you ready for that formula? Here it is:

Hu - O (H x M) +Tl = Mortician's Day

Not bad, right? If you're wondering, Tl DOES stand for Thallium. Essential if somebody needs a mortician. Seriously, look for it on the periodic table of the elements. It's pretty. I would explain what the other letters stand for, but it just seems too morbid on the happiest day of the year. I don't want to be a buzzkill. (does anybody even use that word anymore?)

I'm off to kill the buzz.

Enjoy!

-DJ