hole in space

There is a hole in space. And nobody seems too worried about it.

At first, scientists were pretty cool with it. They thought it might be a very dense cloud and infrared light would see through it. No such luck. It's just a hole. In space.

So far the hole doesn't seem to be causing any problems. But, you gotta wonder...what kind of weapon can blow a hole in space?

Not one that I would like to meet! What if giant, alien caterpillars have giant space-penetrating guns?! Shouldn't we be a little worried about that?!

Just because it doesn't seem likely, doesn't mean it isn't true. I hit a nail into a piece of wood once. That's kinda the same thing. Except bigger nails.

Don't believe me? It's true. I even bought a hammer for it. I used to use random blunt objects, but I've gotten so good at building things that I figured I would get a hammer. I'm pretty handy with it.

Fine. Don't believe me. See if I fix your space-hole problem.

I'm off to build a spice rack.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

more mother's day

Just when I thought I knew EVERYTHING about Mother's Day, Peru throws me a curve ball. Or an uppercut.

In Peru, Mom's celebrated their day by boxing. Yep, ten moms put on the gloves and got into the ring.

That's pretty awesome. As a kid, don't you wish you saw your mom do some more boxing? I know I did, but my mom retired her gloves after I was born. Yep. It's a good thing she wasn't in Peru. She would have schooled them all.

My mom trained with the best: Evander Holyfield, George Foreman, Bruce Lee, Iron Fist, and even Batman. So, you know, she's pretty tough.

My mom can also fly. But she doesn't fly when she's boxing. She's not a cheater.

Can your mom box? That would be cool if she did. Maybe my mom will come out of retirement someday.

But maybe not. She's kind of a mahjong champ these days.

I'm off to fly like a butterfly.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

mother's day

It is Mother's Day in Mexico today. Or, if you prefer, Dia de las Madres.

Did you ever notice that holidays in the North American countries seem to be a day or so off from each other? Why do Canada, The U.S., and Mexico do that?

Could we not agree on the day? I guess it's not really a big deal. I just thought it would be fun to celebrate together.

If you live in the States, do you celebrate Mother's Day today even if you are originally from Mexico? Or, do you celebrate the U.S. version?

What if your mom moved to Utah from Mexico? Do you call her today? Will she be upset that you didn't call yesterday? Do you have to call BOTH days?

There are a lot of unanswered questions. The most important question I have is this: Why isn't Iron Man 2 in 3D?! Seriously?! You couldn't have done that for me?!

I ask for so little in life. Whatever. I'll still see it. But I WON'T like it.

I'm off to Utah.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

breakfast alive

I want Frosted Mini-Wheats that talk to me. Like in that commercial when they help that kid study for a test. They are so funny!

I love the very end when the one Mini-Wheat is marching away in his little revolutionary outfit!

Sometimes I do the march, too. I think I will be a "Mini-Wheat marching to battle" for halloween. Or tomorrow. Whenever.

I kinda want food to talk to me. But it might make it harder to eat. So, maybe if food just had an entertaining representative? I don't know.

It's a tough decision.

It would be cool if bananas were ninjas. Or maybe not. I like bananas and ninjas are impossible to find.

Huh. Life IS complicated, isn't it?

OH! I've heard Rice Krispies talk, but they never say anything important. They're actually kind of boring.

I'm off to find a banana.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

rice cooker

What is a rice cooker? I could look it up, but I'm too lazy. Does it just cook rice? Why would I buy something that ONLY cooks rice?

I guess if I didn't have a stove or a microwave, and I REALLY loved rice, I might buy one. But then I would have to eat rice all the time.

Can't you just cook rice in a pot or a pan? Or in a small microwavable pouch?

I don't know. I mean, rice is nice, but it's just a grain.

You know what I WOULD like? Something that makes apples and peanut butter! I'm addicted to it! But it's so much work. I have to cut the apple AND scoop the peanut butter. If they made some "cooker" that did all that work for me, I would be happy.

Happy like an apple.

I'm off to rice my cooker.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

the toothpaste troubles

Have you ever had toothpaste troubles? Sometimes they make it so hard for me to find a good, solid paste.

It's just CRAZY what they'll sell! I bought one for sensitive teeth and it's TOTALLY drippy! I don't know how it happened, but I would brush with it and it would just start pouring out of my mouth like I was a rabid camel!

And yes, I have sensitive teeth. What of it? They're still manly. So manly, that I eat nails. I just have to get a tetanus shot after.

I also bought a paste for teeth whitening :D. See my big emoticon smile there? It's white, right? That's because I LOVE brushing with it! It is NOT drippy at all! It's SUPER FOAMY! It's like a cloud in my mouth! You start brushing and it becomes all puffy!

It's awesome. My manly, yet sensitive, teeth love it.

I'm off to brusha, brusha, brush.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

shock therapy

So I had to go to the hospital yesterday to get electrical shocks. It was cool. They put a taser-thing to my leg and made my muscles twitch! I couldn't even stop it!

Pretty cool, right? It's called an EMG. I don't really know what that stands for, but I THINK it stands for Everybody Must Giggle. I have no idea why an electromyography test is called an...OOOOOOOH! Now I see it.

The first guy shocked me. The second guy stuck needles into me. If you're looking for a good EMG, I know a guy.

Today is also Arbor Day. That has nothing to do with EMGs, but I thought it was worth mentioning. If you are going anywhere today, you should wish everybody a Happy Arbor Day. EVERYBODY. They will love you for your positive attitude towards trees.

I think, when I grow up, I want to be a tree. I wonder how much that pays?

OH! AND tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day. Go get them. As many as you can. They are free. And, without trees, we would have no comic books.

We live in a wonderful world.

I'm off to EMG.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ