that isn't very relaxing

I'm the kind of guy who loves to relax. If I could afford a day at the spa, you KNOW I would be there ready to be sootherated.

Since I cannot afford anything that fancy, I do listen to relaxing sounds online.

It's nice! They'll have birds chirping. Water babbling. Sometimes they have, like, wind chimes and stuff. Maybe a pan flute. I don't know if Zamfir is involved, but I secretly hope he is.

I was relaxing to some birds the other day and a lawnmower goes by! Two times!

How is that calming?!

Sure, sometimes it would be nice to have Zamfir drop that flute and chop it up with a lawnmower, but not while I'm sipping tea and eating crumpets!

I don't even know what a crumpet is! But I secretly hope that it is a cookie shaped like a trumpet.

Maybe my next relaxing night will go better. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'm listening to the sounds of the forest and a chainsaw goes by.

Because that's relaxing. Like an arrow to the knee.

I'm off to play my crumpet.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

what big ears you have

Did you hear the news? If you didn't, maybe your fish did. Fish are getting bigger ears. For some reason that scientists can’t figure out, the more carbon dioxide in the water the larger a fish's ear grows.

So, how is this useful? I don't know. I now know that a fish ear is inside of their body and that they use it for balance. So, with bigger ears, maybe they can balance better. The fish of the future will be really good at gymnastics. Hopefully they will be allowed into the olympics.

Another unconfirmed scientific study (from actual scientists) is that fish in carbon dioxide water are more lethargic. So, I guess they won't be in the olympics.

Finally, in a study I just made up (NOT from actual scientists) we found out that fish will ride camels when exposed to high levels of heavy metal. I don't know how they figured this one out, but it's just amazing.

Unfortunately, the fish are so lethargic, that we can't prove it. And the loud music hurts their newly enlarged ears.

They now enjoy the pan flute and yoga. It's relaxing and they don't get headaches.

I'm off to listen to my Zamfir albums.

Enjoy!

-DJ