dig that hole like dig dug

Tokyo has a hole digging competition. You have 30 minutes to dig a hole. Deepest hole wins the GOLDEN SHOVEL!

Not only that, but you can win for the most creative hole, too!

How do you make a "creative" hole? Do it like Dig Dug! That's right! If you can destroy some Pookas and Fygars, then I bet you would win that prize!

Granted, that joke is ONLY funny to people who know everything about the video game Dig Dug, but trust me, it's funny.

I used to dig holes thinking I could get to the center of the Earth. Now I know that's impossible because of the Earth's rotation. It keeps changing your direction, so it's impossible to get there unless you have very high-tech equipment calibrated to the spin and orbit of the earth and a few other planets.

Gravity gets all messed up the deeper you go down.

Dig Dug told me that.

Also, it's dangerous to dig to the center of the Earth. You might run into Pookas and Fygars. They are scary. Especially Fygar's fire.

OH! And watch out for wild boars! I thought I almost hit one last night! Turned out to be a trash can in the road, but still, coulda been a boar.

I'm off to dig a hole.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

travel etiquette

I'm not much of a world traveler, but I like to think that I would act appropriately if I were visiting other countries. At the very least, I wouldn't lick their tuna.

In Tokyo, there is a popular tourist spot where people can watch the early morning tuna auctions. It's supposed to be pretty wild, but the people there are just trying to do their job and tourists are messing it up with their flash cameras and tuna-licking. Yeah, some tourist licked a tuna there. I don't know why.

So, in the interest of public safety, I have decided to start keeping track of all the rude stuff that tourists do and write a book of all the things you are NOT supposed to do when visiting other countries.

The first rule today is: Don't lick the tuna.

I think there should be a punishment for such tuna disrespect. Maybe the owner of that tuna is allowed to slap you across the face with said tuna. That would probably keep people from licking any more tuna.

I don't know if I should expand that rule to include most animals and people. I would, but I'm not sure if there are countries where licking is considered a compliment. For all I know, there could be a city in Australia where licking somebody's koala is how you say hello.

I DO know for a fact that in the United States you are not supposed to lick people when you first meet them. They don't like that. They're ok when a dog does it, but not when I do it.

So, if you learned anything today, it's don't be the lick-initiator, wait to see if the natives do it first. If they start licking a tuna, then join the party! Otherwise, DON'T LICK THE TUNA!

I'm off to work on my etiquette.

Enjoy!

-DJ