insider and outsider trading

So there's talk around Congress about insider trading. I don't know much about the law and the government and kangaroos, but I know that they all exist.

Okay, I'm not 100% on that, but I'm about 67% sure.

According the folks in Congress, they could get insider stock tips so they could make some big monies. But, insider trading is illegal. Except for them.

Since the law DIDN'T say they COULDN'T do it, they figured it was okay.

And THAT is my kinda logic!

Since there is no actual proof that unicorns don't exist, clearly they do! And since there is no actual law specifically telling me that I, personally, cannot take all the money from a bank, clearly I can.

OH! There is also no law that says all comic book companies are supposed to NOT give me comic books free for life, therefore they should be giving me comic books, for free, for life!

Because that's how the law works!

According to congress.

That is why I'm going to start my political career today.

Vote for me. I want to do everything you can't.

Thank you.

I'm off to start a PAC.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

camel problem

Australia has a camel problem. It's true! They are everywhere! And they seem to be causing all sorts of damage!

It is actually the world's "largest feral camel population." (feral camel is fun to say!) Yep. In Australia! And you thought they only had kangaroos!

So Australians are trying to get rid of the feral camel. Some ways are not so nice, but other ways are VERY nice! Like exporting them to other countries!

Camels could become a huge export for Australia. YES AUSTRALIA! Home of the koala!

I couldn't believe it, either!

Other countries love camels, so it's a good way to get them out of Australia.

Camels are good for lots of things. Like riding, um...and other stuff!

That should be their slogan. "Camels! Good for riding! AND OTHER STUFF!"

You better get your camel now before they sell out! We'll even give you a camel accessory kit FREE! And a koala!

Order you camel today!

Okay...I'm off to get my own camel and koala.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

battle strategy

General Stanley McChrystal gave us a scary thought when he talked about the war in Afghanistan. His exact quote, "But the sober fact is that there are no silver bullets."

I'm not sure if that's scary to you, but I'm pretty freaked out! How are we going to fight werewolves?!

I'm afraid to say it, but I think we're going to have to hire some vampires to take care of this werewolf problem. Or possibly some werekangaroos. They are on our side and are totally awesome. I wish I was a werekangaroo. They also don't get hurt by silver bullets. They get hurt by golden lassos. And since Wonder Woman likes kangaroos, they're safe.

Oh wait...oh I get it! Stanley was making a joke about beer! Whew! I was all worried about nothing. No "silver bullets" so they're "sober". Ha! Good one Stanley.

Unless he isn't joking. Better stock up on your Coors Light.

I'm off to find my lunar calendar.

Enjoy!

-DJ