feel the bastille

Bastille Day needs better PR. Did anybody even know that it was Bastille Day? I barely knew it. I found it on a scrap of paper on the sidewalk. That's how little people care.

But they SHOULD care! In 1789 people in France turned off TV and stormed the Bastille dungeon!

The monarchy was all, "You don't like French Idol? YOU GO TO JAIL!"

And the people were all like, "That's not fair! I want to watch NCIS!"

And the Kings and Queens were all like, "That's not a bad show, but you HAVE to watch French Idol! Until they invent some sort of device that lets you record two programs at once, you will watch what we tell you to watch!"

Remember, this happened way back in 1789 and they didn't have the dual-tuner DVR yet. They also yelled a lot.

So, they started a revolution.

But nobody even cares! In honor of my love of French stuff like fries and dressing and Renoir, I'm starting a new ad campaign for Bastille Day.

Loud sound of thunder: "BADOOOOOOM!"

Deep voice guy: "FEEL THE BASTILLE!"

Thunder again: "BADOOOOOOM!"

Then a bolt of lightning flashes across the screen: "FLAZASH!"

Deep voice guy: "IN FRANCE!"

Then big explosion sound: "BOOOOOM!!!!!!!"

And that is what gets people excited.

I'm off to record two things at once.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

moon landings

It's been 40 years since we landed on the moon. I say we, but WE didn't actually do it. At least I didn't. Maybe you did.

It seems people at NASA aren't so great with recording things because they lost original TV transmissions of the moon landings. Yeah. That's why we always see a cruddy copy of it. NASA didn't feel that putting humans on a celestial object was all that important.

I'm glad I don't have NASA in charge of my DVR. I might miss an episode of So You Think You Can Dance. If don't get my weekly dose of SYTYCD, I get cranky. And not just adult cranky, more like a hungry baby who needs a diaper change cranky.

What were they thinking? That this would happen every day?

NASA 1: Hey, can I take one of these tapes?

NASA 2: Sure, I think it's just one of those moon landing tapes. Why do you need it?

NASA 1: I want to tape the next episode of Green Acres. It looks Hi-Lar-I-Ous!

NASA 2: I love that show! I think I'll take one of those tapes too! Stupid moon landing. Who would want to watch that again when we have Green Acres?

NASA 1: I know. LAAAAAME!

It's a good thing Buzz brought his camera phone up there or we might not have ANY video of the event. It's too bad camera phone quality wasn't as good back then. I don't know how people survived without 8.59 megapixel cameras.

I'm off to land on the moon.

Enjoy!

-DJ