one more ply

I’m constantly amazed at what some companies put out that they never put out before. Does that make sense? Here's an example:

Big Kat. From the makers of Kit Kat. You know...that song? "Break me off a piece of that kit kat bar because it's really four bars so you can share...you greedy snot." Or something like that. I don't remember it exactly. Anyway, the folks at the Kit Kat Co. decided to take one of those four bars, make it the size of a regular candy bar and called it a Big Kat. Now you don't have to share with a bunch of needy friends. Nice, right?

So how come these just came out a few years ago? I mean, Kit Kats have been around for, like, hundreds of years and they JUST thought of this now?! How come I didn't think of it first?

What about when they made dark chocolate m&ms? Why did that take so long? It's not like dark chocolate is new. How did they miss that combination?

m&m executive in 1972: Hmmm...I am enjoying this bag of groovy m&ms...and I am also enjoying this funk-a-licious dark chocolate bar. I think I shall get down with these two items often...because I am far out like that. Now I will stare at the lava lamp a little longer.

m&m executive from 2005: People like dark chocolate. We make small candy-coated chocolate. Why the heck didn't we just make some of them with dark chocolate? Jeez...how did we miss this one? We've been putting peanuts in them for years and people are allergic to peanuts. Nobody is allergic to dark chocolate. Wow...I'm going to make millions for this one.

So, luckily, one of those smart marketing guys thought of something that was pretty much staring us in the face...again. 3-ply toilet paper. Now, this isn't just any run-of-the-mill 3-ply. Nope.

TWO layers are for softness. Ooooooooh.

So far, you like where this is going, right? What about they third layer? What could they possible come up with to warrant an extra layer? I'll tell you.

The other layer is for absorbency. AH HA! I knew it was for something important!

Ok...so I'm not fooled. How do they know which layers will be used for what? Can they guarantee that I won't accidentally get three layers of softness? I know that sounds wonderful, but then I'm losing all sorts of absorbency!

OR! What if two layers are used for absorbency?! I do NOT want to lose that softness! Do you?!?! I didn't think so.

So, I think we've made just about everything. Now we can make them bigger or add a layer and we have a seller. Like, how about double-decker Twix bars! Usually I have to put one on top of the other to do that, but they could make it easier for me by doing it at the factory! I gotta call Twix. They're gonna love this. Then, in five years, I'll call back and tell them about my plans for a triple-decker.

I'm off to make candy bigger.

Enjoy!

-DJ