The National Pork Board in Portland, Oregon seems to have a problem with unicorns. The Pork Board is suing ThinkGeek (a great online store) because TG is saying that unicorns are "the new white meat." And "an excellent source or sparkles."
First of all, it's not funny to joke about eating unicorns. Second of all, there are sparkle supplements. I take one every day. Third of all, I believe pork is the OTHER white meat. Not "new" at all.
The Pork Board issued a cease-and-desist to ThinkGeek about the ad. THEN they said that unicorns don't exist.
Wow. That's bold. And a lie! Why would they say that? And if they are so sure that unicorns don't exist, why would they even issue a cease-and-desist? If it don't exist, no cease-and-desist!
That's my new motto. Which might become a t-shirt.
But we can't use that for unicorns. They do exist. So...we're kinda stuck. Or, the Pork Board is stuck. You can't have it both ways, Porkies!
I think I will ban all pork until they stop being stinky.
That'll show'em.
I'm off to take my sparkle supplement.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Showing posts with label pork. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pork. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
pork cake
At a wedding in England, the new couple decided that, instead of cake, they would have a 22-pound, four-tier cake/pie made out of pork.
I don't know what else to say. I now know that pork cake is cheaper than a traditional wedding cake. I also know that pork cake sounds disgusting.
Do you think they smooshed it into each other's faces? That's gross. Not just regular gross, but the kid of gross that only comes from people smearing pork products on their face.
In order to get that image out of our heads, I'm going to tell you a story.
On a sunshiny day, all the rainbows decided to come out and play. All the people in the land came out and danced on giant cakes made of sugar and frosting. Then, when everybody was done dancing on cake, we all jumped in the pools of pie! Pie-pools filled with sugary, fruit sweetness. Finally, the day was completed with movies about stuffed animals eating cupcakes and gummy bears.
The end.
Don't you feel better?
I'm off to buy normal, sugar-cake.
Enjoy!
-DJ
I don't know what else to say. I now know that pork cake is cheaper than a traditional wedding cake. I also know that pork cake sounds disgusting.
Do you think they smooshed it into each other's faces? That's gross. Not just regular gross, but the kid of gross that only comes from people smearing pork products on their face.
In order to get that image out of our heads, I'm going to tell you a story.
On a sunshiny day, all the rainbows decided to come out and play. All the people in the land came out and danced on giant cakes made of sugar and frosting. Then, when everybody was done dancing on cake, we all jumped in the pools of pie! Pie-pools filled with sugary, fruit sweetness. Finally, the day was completed with movies about stuffed animals eating cupcakes and gummy bears.
The end.
Don't you feel better?
I'm off to buy normal, sugar-cake.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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