Oh no. This is bad. I know zombies are totally hip right now, but this is just scary.
Zombie Bees.
Affectionately called "zombees" by apiarists.
Unaffectionately called "ZOMBIE BEES ARE TRYING TO KILL ME" by everybody else.
It's like "The Walking Dead" if it became "The Fly-And-Sting-You-And-Lure-You-Into-A-False-Sense-Of-Security-With-Their-Sweet-Nectar Dead."
I love honey. I eat it every day. I also use it as a face wash. Should I worry about becoming a zombie?
Will I become a BEE?! WILL I BECOME A MUTANT HUMAN/BEE/ZOMBIE HYBRID LIKE THE HYBRID SHARKS?!?!
These are all questions that one must ask oneself when that self enjoys honey made by not yourself!
These are also questions that one must ask oneself when oneself doesn't know what that self should write about when blogging about that self's love of honey.
OH! You know what else is good? Honey peanut butter.
Oh no...my peanut butter could make me a zombie too!
Eh...it's worth it. Honey peanut butter is really good. Good enough to go zombie for.
I'm off to zombee.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Showing posts with label bees. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bees. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
bee miles
I just read an article that says bees can travel 4,704,208 miles per gallon. Via honey-fuel. I don't know why they did this study, but I guess they wanted to figure out how efficient a bee was compared to a car. Even though they are not related at all.
I tried to figure out how much a human could get. Not by myself, I looked it up online hoping somebody else already did the work. They kinda did, but not very clearly. One site said we could get 400mpg if humans actually ran on gasoline. Another used food, the actual stuff we eat, and found that we get about 12mpg.
Solution? Internal combustion engine. Internal meaning inside your chest. Bam! We eat food and drink gas and we get, like, 200mpg!
You could totally do this to me. I've lost feeling around my ribs, so surgery should be no problem.
Also, maybe you could add a bee in there. I could get 100,000mpg if I eat some honey as well. I could also sting people with my words. Because that's what happens when you have a bee living inside of you. And I have a sharp wit. Wha-pshhh! (that's my whip sound, in case you didn't know).
You're welcome, environment. I just made everybody more fuel efficient. And, I have a whip.
I'm off to internally combust.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
I tried to figure out how much a human could get. Not by myself, I looked it up online hoping somebody else already did the work. They kinda did, but not very clearly. One site said we could get 400mpg if humans actually ran on gasoline. Another used food, the actual stuff we eat, and found that we get about 12mpg.
Solution? Internal combustion engine. Internal meaning inside your chest. Bam! We eat food and drink gas and we get, like, 200mpg!
You could totally do this to me. I've lost feeling around my ribs, so surgery should be no problem.
Also, maybe you could add a bee in there. I could get 100,000mpg if I eat some honey as well. I could also sting people with my words. Because that's what happens when you have a bee living inside of you. And I have a sharp wit. Wha-pshhh! (that's my whip sound, in case you didn't know).
You're welcome, environment. I just made everybody more fuel efficient. And, I have a whip.
I'm off to internally combust.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Thursday, February 4, 2010
more robots!
I want to go to Harvard University. Apparently, they got a LOT of stimulus money. Not to create new jobs, but to create new bees. Robot bees.
That's right! NINE MILLION DOLLARS to create robotic bees! I have no idea why they are creating robotic bees, but as you know, robots are cool. So, does it really matter?
I have a feeling that it is just another safety measure to the chance of a rogue robot groundhog, but I'm not sure. There is no word on the sort of weapons that the robot bees will have, but I'm guessing it will be stingers with nanobots. Of course, I'm no roboticist.
Harvard ALSO got $225,000 to study the horns of the narwhal. Now THAT'S a waste of money. I can already tell you what that is for.
Destroying evil wizards who attack unicorns. Or destroying any evil stuff. But mostly wizards because narwhals can't be hurt by magic. Or bullets.
So I guess some of the money is wasted. Oh, a school in Agawam got $25,000 for vertical blinds. I would say that's a waste of money, but vertical blinds can be helpful...WHEN YOU ARE IN A FIGHT AGAINST THE SUN! And they are the only thing known to harm a narwhal. So, there's that too.
I'm off to win a sun/narwhal battle.
Enjoy Everything
-DJ
That's right! NINE MILLION DOLLARS to create robotic bees! I have no idea why they are creating robotic bees, but as you know, robots are cool. So, does it really matter?
I have a feeling that it is just another safety measure to the chance of a rogue robot groundhog, but I'm not sure. There is no word on the sort of weapons that the robot bees will have, but I'm guessing it will be stingers with nanobots. Of course, I'm no roboticist.
Harvard ALSO got $225,000 to study the horns of the narwhal. Now THAT'S a waste of money. I can already tell you what that is for.
Destroying evil wizards who attack unicorns. Or destroying any evil stuff. But mostly wizards because narwhals can't be hurt by magic. Or bullets.
So I guess some of the money is wasted. Oh, a school in Agawam got $25,000 for vertical blinds. I would say that's a waste of money, but vertical blinds can be helpful...WHEN YOU ARE IN A FIGHT AGAINST THE SUN! And they are the only thing known to harm a narwhal. So, there's that too.
I'm off to win a sun/narwhal battle.
Enjoy Everything
-DJ
Thursday, October 23, 2008
caring enough to give the gift of heifer
I'm sure a lot of people don't want to hear about it, but christmas is already in the works this year. I don't do too much for the holiday, so I'm not really getting ready right now, but I do know some people are already done with their gift buying. Might as well get it done early, right!
That's why I'm here. To help all of you folks who want to find the perfect gift for the person who has everything. How about a heifer! That's right, for the low, low price of $500, you can buy your loved one a brand new heifer!
Ok, so you can't EXACTLY do that, but you sort of can. I heard about this before, but I never got the catalog. It is actually called "The most important gift catalog in the world." Yep. The entire world. It's a charitable organization called Heifer International that allows you to buy animals for families in need. I'm pretty sure that most of these families are in different countries, though I haven't seen the statistics. It is possible that a family in southern Nevada got a goat and is enjoying its milk as we speak.
AND, a goat is only one of the many animals that you can buy for people. You can also get pigs, sheep, rabbits, chicks, bees and more. I would like some rabbits. Ya know, if you're looking to get me something. Bees would be nice too.
I don't usually get all sappy and contemplatative...uh...contemplative...er...contemplatating... ...emotional, but it's fascinating to read the stories from these people. There is a story in the catalog about a family that got a goat. Then the goat had kids. Then they sold one of the kids for $200. This allowed them to put a tin roof on their house. And by house, I think they mean a hut of some sort that is made of sticks. Previously, their roof was made of grass. Oh...and they had money left over for the kids to go to school. Not the goat kids, but the actual human children.
Here's what I would do with an extra $200...that I might get from selling a goat. I could buy some DVDs of TV shows I like. Maybe get a fancy new cell phone. Or buy some comic books...which I could then fashion into a roof on top of a fort that I made out of blankets and the couch. So...I'm kinda like that family from Uganda...like, .00001% like them.
I'm not writing this to guilt you into buying a sheep for a family in Ecuador. I can't afford most of the gifts in the catalog. I just thought it was interesting. I'm sure we all forget what it's like in other parts of the world. I'm no different. I guess it's just one of those reminders to be thankful for what we have.
Ugh...too sappy. True, but sappy. Like, just tapping the maple tree sappy.
I'm off to find some pancakes.
Enjoy!
-DJ
That's why I'm here. To help all of you folks who want to find the perfect gift for the person who has everything. How about a heifer! That's right, for the low, low price of $500, you can buy your loved one a brand new heifer!
Ok, so you can't EXACTLY do that, but you sort of can. I heard about this before, but I never got the catalog. It is actually called "The most important gift catalog in the world." Yep. The entire world. It's a charitable organization called Heifer International that allows you to buy animals for families in need. I'm pretty sure that most of these families are in different countries, though I haven't seen the statistics. It is possible that a family in southern Nevada got a goat and is enjoying its milk as we speak.
AND, a goat is only one of the many animals that you can buy for people. You can also get pigs, sheep, rabbits, chicks, bees and more. I would like some rabbits. Ya know, if you're looking to get me something. Bees would be nice too.
I don't usually get all sappy and contemplatative...uh...contemplative...er...contemplatating... ...emotional, but it's fascinating to read the stories from these people. There is a story in the catalog about a family that got a goat. Then the goat had kids. Then they sold one of the kids for $200. This allowed them to put a tin roof on their house. And by house, I think they mean a hut of some sort that is made of sticks. Previously, their roof was made of grass. Oh...and they had money left over for the kids to go to school. Not the goat kids, but the actual human children.
Here's what I would do with an extra $200...that I might get from selling a goat. I could buy some DVDs of TV shows I like. Maybe get a fancy new cell phone. Or buy some comic books...which I could then fashion into a roof on top of a fort that I made out of blankets and the couch. So...I'm kinda like that family from Uganda...like, .00001% like them.
I'm not writing this to guilt you into buying a sheep for a family in Ecuador. I can't afford most of the gifts in the catalog. I just thought it was interesting. I'm sure we all forget what it's like in other parts of the world. I'm no different. I guess it's just one of those reminders to be thankful for what we have.
Ugh...too sappy. True, but sappy. Like, just tapping the maple tree sappy.
I'm off to find some pancakes.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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