the grinder

For those of you who aren't from Western Mass, a "grinder" is a sub. You know, that oval-looking sandwich thing with your choice of veggies and meats put inside. I know there are many names for a sub, but around here, they somehow got the name grinder. Don't ask me, I'm from the other side of the state where people call them subs.

Anyway, I was at a store that sells these grinders and heard something funny. A woman went up to the counter and asked "How big is a 30-inch grinder?"

I almost stopped to answer. It seemed so simple to me! I thought, "I can totally answer that question! And I don't even work here!"

I've never felt so smart in my life! I can't figure anything out when I go shopping. But this! This I know!

I did not stop. I went on with the rest of my shopping. I didn't want to show off or anything. Studies have shown that I am a near-genius. And trust me, being a near-genius gets you all of nothing except for the fact that you can try to tell small children that you are smart.

Even then, there's a 50/50 chance that they are smarter than I am. But I'm bigger, so they can't prove anything. I can also run faster. And swing higher.

And I'm old enough to rent a car. I hope you like walking, kid!

Yeah...I'm off to ponder how my life has gone so wrong.

Enjoy Everything

-DJ