pick her up

I saw an interesting article telling guys how NOT to pick up the ladies. Not pick-up lines but rather modes of transportation.

And I can't help but disagree with ALL of them!

Unicycle: Really? What woman wouldn't want to be picked up on a unicycle?! I once had this game for Super Nintendo called Uniracers and it was awesome! If a woman doesn't want a ride on a unicycle, she gets no ride at all!

Pony: Don't girls love ponies? Heck, don't GUYS love ponies?! I do. And riding a pony to the movies is probably the best way to go on a date. AND it's cute.

Segway Scooter: Okay...I guess I could go either way with this one. The good thing is that two people on a Segway can get really tight. So that means she wants to be close to you. The bad thing is that it's really hard to steer one of those bad boys with two people on it. Trust me, I've tried.

Roller Skates: Wow...they are SO wrong with this. Any guy that can roller skate is probably the COOLEST guy in the world! Imagine going out to dinner and instead of both of you walking to the restaurant, he roller skates and you walk. All the girls seeing his slick moves would be so jealous of your catch. You'd be hotter than sea horse!

Wanna know what's lame? Fancy cars. That's so last year.

Oh, and chairs on wheels. I know they're fun at work, but it's really hard to keep those moving with two people. Even harder than a Segway. And if she has to sit on your lap the whole night, your keys are going to press into your thigh. Not always pleasant, but helpful if you need a mold of your keys.

I'm off to race my unicycle.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

um...this thing...I...hmmmm...

I have no idea how to describe this, so I'm just going to blurt it out. In China, there is a mountain that lays eggs. It's true! The board of tourism says so!

They say that Gandeng Mountain has laid more than 100 eggs. And another one is expected soon. So you might want to book your next vacation to Gulu, China. To see a mountain. Lay an egg.

The article didn't specify what comes out of the egg. I think it's a baby mountain.

They're very cute. And playful. But you have to watch out for their peaks. They can be sharp. They're like baby porcupines or baby jellyfish. Fun to play with, but you could go home with an injury.

I guess the same could be said for human babies, too. Especially babies on roller skates. Scary AND dangerous.

I'm off to see a mountain baby.

Enjoy!

-DJ