i like it when it glitters

Republican candidate Mittens Romney has been going around talking about stuff lately. Sadly, he is not talking about kittens. I truly think that should be his political stance. He should just talk about kittens at every rally!

"Hello, my name is Mittens. I like Kittens. Thank you."

"WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (that's the crowd reaction)

Well! Somebody went one step further to make his campaign even better! GLITTER!

Mittens was glitter bombed! How wonderful is that!

I like it when bombs glitter. Not like those blow uppy ones that hurt. Glitter bombs are much nicer. AND they go great with kittens and Mittens!

I think we could win every war EVER if we just glitter bomb people! Imagine the love!

Other country: "We are going to war you!"

Our country "Ok!"

POOOOOOM! GLITTER BOMB!

Other country: "We love you! And glitter! And kittens!"

Our country: "YAY!"

World problems? Solved.

I'm off to glitter my kitten and glitten my kitter.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

shark week again

Shark Week is happening again. That's cool. People seem to like that. They've been doing it for over 20 years.

Sharks are cool. They have lots of teeth. Which is good if you like gum.

There should be a Unicorn Week! Now THAT would be cool! You could put me in a cage and drop me into Pink Fairyland so I could observe the unicorn in its natural habitat!

I know the dangers. Glitter storms. Lightning sand. Gummy swamps.

But it does not matter! I WILL succeed!

For Unicorn Week! And Beyond!

I'm off to pack my bags.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

no memory

I don't know if you've heard about this guy HM, but he had a pretty strange memory. He's been famous for years because he could not commit information into his long-term memory. He died recently and donated his brain to science. We now know his full name is Henry Molaison. Scientists love nicknames, so they called him HM instead. Scientists are weird like that. They usually call each other names like "quark" or "phylum" or "anterolateral temporal cortex."

Anyway, Henry had some brain surgery in 1953 and things didn't go exactly as planned. After the surgery, you could ask him to memorize a bunch of numbers and he would. Then, if you asked him about it later that day, he wouldn't even know that he was asked to look at numbers. He couldn't remember what he had for breakfast or lunch or anything.

I'd say that's a pretty scary way to live, but I'm sure there are some good things to go with the bad.

Good:

He forgot the 80's.

He doesn't think he saw Glitter.

He forgot every episode of Baywatch.

Bad:

He could never remember who won Dancing with the Stars.

He couldn't remember how great Spice World was.

He forgot that Darth Vader is Luke's father.

He did help with a lot of research about how our memory works and what we can and cannot do. He could learn new motor skills. So, I guess he could learn to juggle. Or maybe he learned how to play the Wii.

Oddly enough, he thought Eisenhower knew how to play the Wii. That would have been cool if my boy Dwight actually did play the Wii. I'd vote for him again if he was a Wii-man. I know you would too.

I'm off to...I forgot...

Enjoy!

-DJ