Somebody reads my blog! Cool, right? So, since he openly admitted to reading what I write, I figured it would only be fair to take his idea and write about it.
After ordering a slice of pizza the size of Montana, Marty said that I should write about it and ask, "When does a slice of pizza become more than a slice and is actually a whole pizza?"
Well, a good call would be if the slice IS, in fact, the size of Montana. VERY good call.
Two slices of pizza were ordered. They could only be contained in a full-size pizza box. The slices were each probably about two-thirds of a medium pizza.
So, how big should a slice be before it becomes a pizza? Is there a ratio? NO! A slice SHOULD be as big as you can get it!
If somebody gives you a Pac-Man-shaped segment of a large pizza and calls it a slice, you TAKE that slice and EAT that slice! That's 256 levels of pizza enjoyment! And you can top it with ghosts and cherries!
That's a Pac-Man Pizza I can enjoy!
I'm off to score 3,333,360 points.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Showing posts with label pizza. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pizza. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
chuck e. cheese
So there's a mouse named Chuck E. Cheese. He seems like a decent guy. He owns a pretty sweet business. Pizza AND games! Now THAT'S how you make money!
But what is his middle name? E. That's all we know about him. I did some research and found two possibilities. And it took me a LONG time to find these! Mr. Cheese did NOT make this easy!
One rumor is that it stands for "Entertainment." Now, that seems fun, but not likely. When have you EVER met anybody with the name Entertainment? Never. It's barely a real name.
The other rumor is that there is no middle name. They just wanted it to sound like Chucky. But instead of calling him Chucky, they made sure you said his middle initial. That seems odd, too. Why even bother? Why not just call him Chucky Cheese? It's the same thing, isn't it?
There seems to be a lot of rumors and half-truths surrounding this Chuck character. I'm kinda thinking he might be one of those Russian spies. Or maybe he's a U.S. spy working in the Pizza and Gaming Agency.
Or the P.G.A.
WHOA! That's also some golf thing! This conspiracy goes deeper than I thought! It's a good thing I'm writing this from the safety of an underground bunker. I can already tell that they're after me.
So be careful. Golfers who love pizza and using coins to win things with tickets are a very dangerous group of highly trained ninjas. You have been warned. Hopefully you'll hear from me again. You never know who's listening.
I'm off to get some "pizza" and "games" and "secrets."
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
But what is his middle name? E. That's all we know about him. I did some research and found two possibilities. And it took me a LONG time to find these! Mr. Cheese did NOT make this easy!
One rumor is that it stands for "Entertainment." Now, that seems fun, but not likely. When have you EVER met anybody with the name Entertainment? Never. It's barely a real name.
The other rumor is that there is no middle name. They just wanted it to sound like Chucky. But instead of calling him Chucky, they made sure you said his middle initial. That seems odd, too. Why even bother? Why not just call him Chucky Cheese? It's the same thing, isn't it?
There seems to be a lot of rumors and half-truths surrounding this Chuck character. I'm kinda thinking he might be one of those Russian spies. Or maybe he's a U.S. spy working in the Pizza and Gaming Agency.
Or the P.G.A.
WHOA! That's also some golf thing! This conspiracy goes deeper than I thought! It's a good thing I'm writing this from the safety of an underground bunker. I can already tell that they're after me.
So be careful. Golfers who love pizza and using coins to win things with tickets are a very dangerous group of highly trained ninjas. You have been warned. Hopefully you'll hear from me again. You never know who's listening.
I'm off to get some "pizza" and "games" and "secrets."
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
plague pizza...yum
Locusts have come to Australia! And to help with the problem, pizza places have decided to add them as a topping on their pizzas! That is totally true.
It's good to know that when the ten plagues come to the modern world, the modern world fights back! The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield. NAY! They will be fought in the pizza place!
Frogs? Nice! Frog and locust pizza specials! Yes!
I know what you're thinking. Can you put darkness on a pizza? No. BUT! We have the warm glow of our computers! To order pizza online!
Boils? Whatevs. We have creams for that. And if we don't, I'm sure they can make a new pill that will be advertised on TV for you that will only have a few side-effects. Right after the pizza commercial.
I'm pretty sure there are some other plagues, but I can't remember what they are. And if I can't remember them, they don't exist anymore. Take that Egypt! Too bad you didn't have a brick oven back then!
Feh. Pyramids. What good are those?
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm off to order a pizza.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
It's good to know that when the ten plagues come to the modern world, the modern world fights back! The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield. NAY! They will be fought in the pizza place!
Frogs? Nice! Frog and locust pizza specials! Yes!
I know what you're thinking. Can you put darkness on a pizza? No. BUT! We have the warm glow of our computers! To order pizza online!
Boils? Whatevs. We have creams for that. And if we don't, I'm sure they can make a new pill that will be advertised on TV for you that will only have a few side-effects. Right after the pizza commercial.
I'm pretty sure there are some other plagues, but I can't remember what they are. And if I can't remember them, they don't exist anymore. Take that Egypt! Too bad you didn't have a brick oven back then!
Feh. Pyramids. What good are those?
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm off to order a pizza.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Monday, August 10, 2009
nothing at all
There is a small town in Arizona named Nothing. It has two residents. There is a pizza parlor and a mini mart. The town is five to nine acres in size.
What does that even mean?! Five to nine acres?! How does a town change size? Is there some sort of tectonic plate there? Does it constantly shift? Are they located next to an unstable multi-dimensional shift?
Why doesn't another real town just absorb Nothing? I'll tell you why. Pizza Man Mike.
Pizza Man Mike is trying to keep Nothing going strong. He wants to create Nothing into a private community. I guess for the two people who live there. Mike wants Nothing for himself and his neighbor.
I'm not sure Mike gets the joke. I do.
So, if you're looking for a family road trip across the states, then be sure to stop in Nothing and have a pizza. Tell Mike I said hi. And to give up. Nothing isn't worth it. And not in a double negative sort of way.
I'm off to shift a tectonic plate.
Enjoy!
-DJ
What does that even mean?! Five to nine acres?! How does a town change size? Is there some sort of tectonic plate there? Does it constantly shift? Are they located next to an unstable multi-dimensional shift?
Why doesn't another real town just absorb Nothing? I'll tell you why. Pizza Man Mike.
Pizza Man Mike is trying to keep Nothing going strong. He wants to create Nothing into a private community. I guess for the two people who live there. Mike wants Nothing for himself and his neighbor.
I'm not sure Mike gets the joke. I do.
So, if you're looking for a family road trip across the states, then be sure to stop in Nothing and have a pizza. Tell Mike I said hi. And to give up. Nothing isn't worth it. And not in a double negative sort of way.
I'm off to shift a tectonic plate.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Friday, May 22, 2009
hot sauce unicorn
Have you ever heard of sriracha? It's a type of hot sauce. It's pretty good with pho. Pho is a beef broth and noodle soup popular in Vietnam. Apparently, it's also good with just about everything else.
There's a guy who makes a sriracha called "Rooster Sauce" because there is a rooster on the bottle. This guy has become pretty darn popular. Due to his popularity, other folks have tried to market their sriracha in a similar fashion. Including "Unicorn Sauce." Not made from real unicorns.
Since unicorns are magical (and real), that must mean Unicorn Sauce will make all your food TASTE magical! AND different things will happen if you put it on different foods.
If you put some Unicorn Sauce into your tuna fish sandwich, then you will turn into a fish-person. It will only last for a little while, but it's cool if you ever wanted to swim in the olympics and win a bunch of medals. (I'm looking at you Phelps!)
Also, if you like your sriracha on pizza, then you will become a large turtle that is trained in the art of ninjitsu. That's probably my favorite one.
Or, if you would like shoot fire out of your eyes, you have to drink a whole bottle of Unicorn Sauce. This is only suggested for people in a battle with a giant frost monster. Otherwise, you will probably burn your furniture and your couch won't be very soft.
Another cool one happens if you eat it on leaves. You turn green and don't need to eat because you can now photosynthesize. Which is cool. Unless you do it at night.
There are others, but they aren't very fun, like if you put some in milk, you will turn into a cow. Not very exciting.
So go get some Unicorn Sauce and try it with different foods. I can't actually prove that any of these things will happen, but I believe they do, and in my imagination, everything is real.
I'm off to get a pizza and become a ninja turtle.
Enjoy!
-DJ
There's a guy who makes a sriracha called "Rooster Sauce" because there is a rooster on the bottle. This guy has become pretty darn popular. Due to his popularity, other folks have tried to market their sriracha in a similar fashion. Including "Unicorn Sauce." Not made from real unicorns.
Since unicorns are magical (and real), that must mean Unicorn Sauce will make all your food TASTE magical! AND different things will happen if you put it on different foods.
If you put some Unicorn Sauce into your tuna fish sandwich, then you will turn into a fish-person. It will only last for a little while, but it's cool if you ever wanted to swim in the olympics and win a bunch of medals. (I'm looking at you Phelps!)
Also, if you like your sriracha on pizza, then you will become a large turtle that is trained in the art of ninjitsu. That's probably my favorite one.
Or, if you would like shoot fire out of your eyes, you have to drink a whole bottle of Unicorn Sauce. This is only suggested for people in a battle with a giant frost monster. Otherwise, you will probably burn your furniture and your couch won't be very soft.
Another cool one happens if you eat it on leaves. You turn green and don't need to eat because you can now photosynthesize. Which is cool. Unless you do it at night.
There are others, but they aren't very fun, like if you put some in milk, you will turn into a cow. Not very exciting.
So go get some Unicorn Sauce and try it with different foods. I can't actually prove that any of these things will happen, but I believe they do, and in my imagination, everything is real.
I'm off to get a pizza and become a ninja turtle.
Enjoy!
-DJ
Friday, March 13, 2009
have a slice of pi
Tomorrow is Pi Day. Get it? It's 3/14? Yeah. Math geeks LOVE this. Actually, physicists love it too because it's Albert Einstein's birthday. Pretty spooky, right!?
I suppose it is not an international holiday. Why? Well, other countries do their dates differently. Actually, they do it in a normal way, WE do it differently. They put the day/month/year but we do month/day/year. Day/month/year seems to make more sense, doesn't it? I mean, it goes in order of changes. Oh well...it'll go up there with my love of the metric system. (I found out that the U.S., Myanmar and Liberia are the only three places on earth that DO NOT use metric.)
So, we can call our Liberian friends and celebrate Pi Day. Unless there is a 31st of April. Hold on...
...
I just looked at the calendar. There is no 31/4.
How can you celebrate Pi Day? By eating pie, of course! The Exploratorium in San Francisco will be having pie (with fruit fillings) and pizza pie! They will also be writing poetry about Pi. And having a geeky time shouting out the numbers 3.14 blah, blah, blah.
How can you celebrate? Shout out "Sweet Pi!" at 1:59 tomorrow. (Get it? 3/14 at 1:159? Pi is 3.14159. Those math geeks are a clever bunch, aren't they?)
If you know anybody who loves math, humor them. This is like their Mardi Gras. I'm not kidding. They have beads and everything. Unfortunately, if you catch some beads, then you have to "show your pi." That only means that you recite pi to whatever place you can remember. Some people memorized, like, hundreds of places. They usually miss pie time.
It may sound irrational, but...oh forget it...I just wanted to get that joke in there.
I'm off to get some cherry pi.
Enjoy!
-DJ
I suppose it is not an international holiday. Why? Well, other countries do their dates differently. Actually, they do it in a normal way, WE do it differently. They put the day/month/year but we do month/day/year. Day/month/year seems to make more sense, doesn't it? I mean, it goes in order of changes. Oh well...it'll go up there with my love of the metric system. (I found out that the U.S., Myanmar and Liberia are the only three places on earth that DO NOT use metric.)
So, we can call our Liberian friends and celebrate Pi Day. Unless there is a 31st of April. Hold on...
...
I just looked at the calendar. There is no 31/4.
How can you celebrate Pi Day? By eating pie, of course! The Exploratorium in San Francisco will be having pie (with fruit fillings) and pizza pie! They will also be writing poetry about Pi. And having a geeky time shouting out the numbers 3.14 blah, blah, blah.
How can you celebrate? Shout out "Sweet Pi!" at 1:59 tomorrow. (Get it? 3/14 at 1:159? Pi is 3.14159. Those math geeks are a clever bunch, aren't they?)
If you know anybody who loves math, humor them. This is like their Mardi Gras. I'm not kidding. They have beads and everything. Unfortunately, if you catch some beads, then you have to "show your pi." That only means that you recite pi to whatever place you can remember. Some people memorized, like, hundreds of places. They usually miss pie time.
It may sound irrational, but...oh forget it...I just wanted to get that joke in there.
I'm off to get some cherry pi.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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