words of the year

There are a lot of lists coming out, but only ONE that has words! (A selection of) The Top 10 Words of 2011!

Number 1 is "Occupy."

As in, "Would you like some pie?"

"No, but I would like to occupy."

"That's an awful joke. And not very tasty. Like pie. Which is tasty. Unless "occu" is some sort of combination of strawberry and rhubarb. If it is not, then please be quiet and let me enjoy my pie or you might be punched in the occugut."

Wow...that got violent fast. Some people just don't appreciate a good joke.

Another word on the list is "3Q." Which is "text-speak" for "Thank You." Cuz 3Q kinda, vaguely sounds like "thank you" in a round-a-bout-maybe-you're-a-little-drunk-with-a-mouth-full-of-marshmallows sort of way.

You know, like when you text "2B." That easily sounds like, "What are you doing on this fine day?"

And finally, my favorite, Kummerspeck. It's German. It means you gained weight from emotional overeating. Here's why I like it: It LITERALLY means "grief bacon." Which sounds like a great band name. It's also fun to say. And easily texted as "6T."

My word of the year, which is not on the list, is "Widdershins."

I know it sounds like a British tv show for toddlers, but it really means "counterclockwise."

It will also be my new nickname. Because it's fun to say. And textable as "8U."

I'm off to widdershins around.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj (widdershins) (8U)

rhubarb: the other root-lookin' stalky vegetable-fruit

I thought everybody had pie.  But, it seems like pie isn't really what Thanksgiving is all about.  It's about turkey and stuffing and...stuff.

My family has always had a LOT of pies at Thanksgiving.  Like, ten pies or something.  Cherry, blueberry, multi-berry, crunch berry, apple, pumpkin, lemon meringue, etc...

I always ate very little turkey and mashed potatoes because I wanted pie!  But this weekend, a non-family member said, "You guys have a lot of pie.  There's almost one per person!"

I said, "Yeah...isn't that what you do on Thanksgiving?"

Little did I know that most people do not do that.  And that is why I love my family.  Because we have pie-tacular traditions.

Even though I've had lots and lots and lots and lots of pie over the years.  Lots of it.  I never had strawberry/rhubarb pie. 

I found out that it would be featured at this year's feast and was a little skeptical.  With a name like rhubarb, it doesn't really sell itself. 

HOT.  DIGGITY.  DOG.  It is so good!  Strawberry/rhubarb pie has the potential of becoming my third favorite pie.  THIRD!  And if it keeps getting better, we may have to have a tie for second. 

With websites, festivals and t-shirts, rhubarb is a very popular vegetable-fruit.  I say vegetable-fruit because it's a vegetable, but it's taxed like a fruit in the United States because it is used like a fruit.  I don't know how fruits and vegetables are used differently, but fruits have lower taxes. 

I don't know if that's fair or not, but I don't care.  As long as I get my pie. 

I'm off to find a vegetable-fruit.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

when a pumpple just isn't enough

A little while back I talked about the Pumpple pie-cake.  It's a pumpkin pie and an apple pie in-between layers of cake.  But since that wasn't enough to satisfy people's appetites, we have the Cherpumple!

The creator, Charles Phoenix, has made a youtube video on how to make it.  Basically, you put a whole apple pie into a spice cake batter.  Then bake it up for your bottom layer.  So it's just a coating of cake around the pie.  Then, you put a pumpkin pie into a yellow cake batter and bake it for the middle layer. THEN you put a cherry pie into a white cake batter.  Bake it.  And that is your top layer! 

I'm not sure why people should stop there, though.  There are so many more wonderful pies to add!  Like blueberry, for a Blucherpumple!

Maybe throw in a Rhubarb for a Rhublucherpumple!

Or just go crazy with a Raslemkeystrawpecsweepocochocreampeachrhublucherpumple.

Then just find 15 different cakes to bake them all into.  And that is what you can bring to every party you have over the holidays!

Just make sure people have sturdy tables. 

And very large plates.

I'm off to open a bakery.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

won't you be my neighbor

I wanted to talk about my neighbors moving away. I wasn't sure what to say, but it seemed so significant that I should write about it.

I don't know why it's important. It's not like I ever TALKED to my neighbors. But I always wanted to. They lived below me in my apartment complex. They seemed really nice.

Of course, they might NOT have been nice, but I'm pretty sure they were. And possibly still are. Now I will never know, because I never went down to borrow a cup of sugar so I could bake a pie.

I'm afraid my dancing caused them to move. Sometimes my dancing is loud. So maybe they didn't want to talk to me either. Since I thumped around dancing. While baking a pie.

So, farewell people who live below me! Or, at least used to! I never actually knew your name even, though we were only separated by a few feet of floor.

I'm off to do the pie dance.

Enjoy!

-DJ

have a slice of pi

Tomorrow is Pi Day. Get it? It's 3/14? Yeah. Math geeks LOVE this. Actually, physicists love it too because it's Albert Einstein's birthday. Pretty spooky, right!?

I suppose it is not an international holiday. Why? Well, other countries do their dates differently. Actually, they do it in a normal way, WE do it differently. They put the day/month/year but we do month/day/year. Day/month/year seems to make more sense, doesn't it? I mean, it goes in order of changes. Oh well...it'll go up there with my love of the metric system. (I found out that the U.S., Myanmar and Liberia are the only three places on earth that DO NOT use metric.)

So, we can call our Liberian friends and celebrate Pi Day. Unless there is a 31st of April. Hold on...

...

I just looked at the calendar. There is no 31/4.

How can you celebrate Pi Day? By eating pie, of course! The Exploratorium in San Francisco will be having pie (with fruit fillings) and pizza pie! They will also be writing poetry about Pi. And having a geeky time shouting out the numbers 3.14 blah, blah, blah.

How can you celebrate? Shout out "Sweet Pi!" at 1:59 tomorrow. (Get it? 3/14 at 1:159? Pi is 3.14159. Those math geeks are a clever bunch, aren't they?)

If you know anybody who loves math, humor them. This is like their Mardi Gras. I'm not kidding. They have beads and everything. Unfortunately, if you catch some beads, then you have to "show your pi." That only means that you recite pi to whatever place you can remember. Some people memorized, like, hundreds of places. They usually miss pie time.

It may sound irrational, but...oh forget it...I just wanted to get that joke in there.

I'm off to get some cherry pi.

Enjoy!

-DJ

basketball for thanksgiving

Well, now that my job is located at the Basketball Hall of Fame, I have the opportunity to play basketball whenever I want! How about that!

I totally stink at basketball!

I used to play. That was when I was young and had potential. I could have been anything if I tried. You see how THAT ended up.

Since I stink at basketball and have no real hopes for making to the NBA, I have changed the rules. If you would like with win the Basketball World Series, my rules will probably help.

If you hit the rim or the backboard, you get one point. If the ball goes through the hoop (from the top, not throwing upwards from underneath), then you get two points. And if you get it through the hoop from anywhere behind the three-point line, you get three points!

Not bad, right? You can get points pretty easily. In my head, I got, like, 20 touchdowns and a hole in one. It was awesome.

Ok, now I have to go to thanksgiving. I don't think basketball will be involved. I DO believe pie will be involved. There are no points with pie. Just yummy.

I'm off to practice my dribbling...for the pie of course.

Enjoy!

-DJ