fond du lac

What's up with Fond du Lac, Wisconsin? I don't really get this city, and yet, it is constantly in the news for all sorts of weird stories.

The city is pretty famous for having a lot of lottery winners. They also have odd news stories like the most recent one about somebody wearing a monkey suit and stealing bananas.

Here's my theory: Fond du Lac is fake. They say it is near a lake called Lake Winnebago. Seriously? I'm supposed to believe they named a lake after a motor home company? I don't think so.

Also, they are proud to say they are the home of Dan Gorske. He is a Big Mac enthusiast. Do you see what I'm saying? Is there REALLY such a thing as a Big Mac enthusiast?

It is rumored to be the location for the Walleye Weekend. Now, I never saw that movie, but I'm pretty sure that Walleye was a fictional robot invented by Pixar last year and could NOT have been around in 1978 when this festival SUPPOSEDLY started.

Clearly this is a made up town by somebody who overdosed on cheese. It is documented that when people eat way too much cheese, they create whole new realities for themselves and never want to leave. I guess a lot of people in Wisconsin have eaten a lot of cheese.

Mass hallucination.

So there's your lesson. Don't eat too much cheese.

Oh, and if you are from Fond du Lac and you are reading this. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are imaginary. I'm sorry, but it's true.

I'm off to tell 43,460 people where they really live.

Enjoy!

-DJ