the debator

I'm pretty sure that's not a word, but it looks cooler than debater, or one who debates. It sounds like Terminator. "I am the De-bay-tour!" It's more superheroish that way. I guess the superhero would be able to debate really, REALLY well.

Faster thinking than a speeding bullet!

More powerful vocal chords than a locomotive!

Able to convince tall buildings that they can be leapt over in a single bound!

When you can't win an argument, there is only one hero to call. THE DEBATOR!

Ok, so that's a lame power to have. Whatever. I bring this up because the presidential debates are over and it's time to choose. I have noticed something, though. The candidates are kind of like little kids. If you have little kids or if you ever were a little kid, then you probably know what I'm talking about. They don't necessarily lie, but they exaggerate...A LOT. They take something and make sound HUGE.

Mom: Eat your vegetables.

Kid: But mooooooooom! You make me eat vegetables ALL THE TIME!

Mom: You didn't eat any yesterday.

Kid: Well, practically all the time. Enough so it SEEMS like all I ever eat are vegetables.

Heck, I still feel like that sometimes, but that's because I like to whine. What we need is a debate with a moderator who can say, "That's not entirely true. Why not just tell us about your plan instead of making up stuff about your opponent?" Then, if they ever stray from the question, they get a slap to the face.

That's what I'd like to see.

I'd also like to see them chug pudding, but I don't think that'll happen either. I would totally vote for the guy who could chug more pudding. That's pretty much how I think all foreign policy should go. Think of all the problems that would be solved. I see peace in the middle east. It would be nice if Kentucky and Tennessee stopped all that fighting (I had to look at map for that joke...but I think you'll agree that it was totally worth it).

I'm off to eat my vegetables...AGAIN...it's, like, every day with these stupid carrots...

Enjoy!

-DJ