post-it

Did you know that the post-it note turned 30 this month? Yeah. It was April of 1980 that the first post-it was stuck to a wall. Unfortunately, the post-it wasn't dated, so they weren't sure of the exact day, but it did say "Pay April's rent before the end of the month." So, we got that part right.

I love post-it notes. I pretty much owe them my life. I have notes everywhere reminding me of stuff. Like:

"Don't fall on swords."

"Lasers will probably go through skin. So don't play with them."

"You can't fly, so don't walk off cliffs."

I have them everywhere.

Did you know CNN also started in 1980? Also! The Supreme Court allowed patents for living organisms! I didn't even know that! Can I patent me?! Or some sort of new human/robot hybrid that I create?

I need to write that down on a post-it. Hold on...oh wait. I already have it.

"Human/robot hybrids will probably have laser eyes. Refer to laser post-it before pursuing."

Oh. Got it. Saved my life again.

I'm off to post-it.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

doors

Do doors always open in? I think I'm thinking of the main door to get into a house. It would be hard to judge doors that are already inside the house because who's to say what's in and what's out. It's all very existential.

But, if I were to go to your house (and I MIGHT just to test this out), would your front door open in? Are they all designed that way? Did they do that so you wouldn't hit the person knocking at your door?

I think I would like a door that swung out. People would never bother me because I would just toss the door open every time I had a visitor and knock them over.

What would be even better is if I put my front door at the edge of a cliff. I would always open the door and nobody would be there!

Don't worry, I'll have parachutes for people. I will have a sign on my front door (that opens out) that says "Please put on a parachute for your safety" with instructions on how to use it underneath.

Maybe I should just get a revolving door. Those are cool, too. They spin me right round.

I'm off to test the door.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

tree sale

I saw a tree for sale yesterday. I don't know how that works, but there was a "For Sale" sign posted on a tree in somebody's yard.

I guess they didn't need the tree anymore and thought somebody else could find a use for it. I don't know what the price was, but I did think about asking. Unfortunately, my apartment has low ceilings, so I don't really have anywhere to put a tree. I COULD lay it down sideways, but still, it probably wouldn't fit.

I think trees need a lot of room to grow. They like yards and stuff. And the roots need dirt and water. I would not be able to supply that.

I used a French Press for a while, but I don't anymore.

Sometimes I get new things and then lose interest in them. So, it's probably not a good idea to spend money on a new tree.

I'm off to see a man about a tree.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

gull island

Gull Island. Sounds cool, right? Maybe a good name for a TV show or something? If not, that's kinda the direction I'm going in, so just play along. Thanks.

The Department of Fish and Game in Boise, Idaho has a pelican problem. (say this next part VERY dramatically) A pelican problem that can only be taken care of by an elite force of professionals. Professionals brought together for one mission. To remove the pelicans.

Three badgers and two skunks are the members of their new strike force. They have to watch over Gull Island. Or die trying.

I guess the pelicans are hurting the trout population. And Boise knew just where to go. I call it "Team Stinky Badge!" Get it? Because they have skunks and badgers? I know. Funny.

Team Stinky Badge is going to take care of this problem using the latest in Pelican Elimination Stealth Technology. Or P.E.S.T.

And that's all I have for my new TV show. It's going to be pretty awesome. There will be a lot of fighting. And a lot of drama. Comedy, too. Maybe some romance. Probably a few ninja pelicans. You know, the usual stuff.

I'm off to Gull Island. Dun Dun!

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

plague pizza...yum

Locusts have come to Australia! And to help with the problem, pizza places have decided to add them as a topping on their pizzas! That is totally true.

It's good to know that when the ten plagues come to the modern world, the modern world fights back! The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield. NAY! They will be fought in the pizza place!

Frogs? Nice! Frog and locust pizza specials! Yes!

I know what you're thinking. Can you put darkness on a pizza? No. BUT! We have the warm glow of our computers! To order pizza online!

Boils? Whatevs. We have creams for that. And if we don't, I'm sure they can make a new pill that will be advertised on TV for you that will only have a few side-effects. Right after the pizza commercial.

I'm pretty sure there are some other plagues, but I can't remember what they are. And if I can't remember them, they don't exist anymore. Take that Egypt! Too bad you didn't have a brick oven back then!

Feh. Pyramids. What good are those?

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm off to order a pizza.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

cinematic titanic

You HAVE to see this show!

I went out last night. Which is pretty shocking, since I never go out. BUT! This was for something awesome. The folks who created Mystery Science Theater 3000 are on tour with a live show.

If you don't know MST3K, then you might not know what I'm talking about. If you do not, watch it. Somehow. I'm sure it's on youtube or something. It was the bestest show EVER!

They would watch bad movies and make fun of them. Now they do a live show where they make fun of other bad movies. Last night they did Danger On Tiki Island. There was danger. And it was hilarious.

That's all I wanted to talk about today. I'm still laughing about it. I can't think about anything else.

I'm off to put a rock in a jar. (totally a reference to the show last night that NOBODY will get, but still makes me laugh!)

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

exact change

Woah. And I mean WOAH! We're talkin' "Joey Lawrence level" woah. I went to the hypersupermarket (check yesterday's blog for details on THAT word) yesterday and had the coolest thing happen.

My bill was $30.00. To the PENNY!

When have you ever bought a whole bunch of stuff at the store and had an exact, zero-cent bill? Never! That was the first time it ever happened to somebody! EVER. And it happened to me!

I thought ribbons and balloons were going to fall down from the sky. They did not.

Nor did I get any sort of discount. Which probably would have messed up my exact number.

Yesterday was a good day.

Don't worry, it could still happen to you someday. It's not likely, but you never know.

I'm off to pay without change.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ