little bittle skittle

Have you seen the Skittles Riddles? They are Skittles flavors, BUT the color doesn't match the flavor inside!

So, if you get a purple Skittle, you don't know if it's cherry or banana or table or rubber or chocolate or what!

But I would like to ask a question...Does it matter?

I have, at times, taken every color of Skittle and put them with their own colors for various reasons. Twice for eating.

I have found that a handful of Skittles of ANY color tastes good. Sugary fruit! That's it!

So do I care what color the Skittle is on the outside? NO! They all taste like sugar! Because that's all they are! And that is all I want them to be!

It's not like yellow Skittles are yellow because they use lemons to make them. I know that and I'm okay with it.

So who are they really fooling with these?

Your children. Someday, if you buy these, your child will have NO idea what color goes with what fruit. They'll see a Lime and call it a Strawberry. You can tell them otherwise, but they'll just say, "Strawberries taste green, lady!" They will say that to you whether you are the mother or the father.

And whose fault is that? Skittles.

Do you know what they should do? They should combine Skittles and M&M's. YES! Why have a peanut or a pretzel in your M&M's when you could have a Skittle in there?!

How awesome would that be?! WHY DON'T THEY HAVE THIS!

It's a conspiracy! It's a fruit-color-chocolate-coated conspiracy! I'm going to go buy a bag of Skittles and a bag of M&M's right now. JUST to prove how good it is. Not the little bags, either. I'm going LARGE BAG!

I'm off to get a tummy ache.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

candy contests

I like the idea of candy contests. A kid in England got the chance to be a taster for a candy company. He wrote an essay about his favorite candy and they told him to come on over and test out three of their new candies.

One: I think more kids should have to write essays on their favorite candy. I probably would have done better in school if I did that.

"What I did on my summer vacation...I ate candy. Let me describe all the candy I ate..."

Two: How come all this stuff always happens in England? Why aren't there any candy companies here looking for me to test out their candy? I could write an essay about lollipops.

Three: Candy is yummy.

There you have it. Three good reasons why I should be a taster for a candy company. Clearly I am qualified. The kid in England is only 12! He doesn't even have any life experiences with candy! I know WAY more about candy than this kid! I have lived a life of candy! It's been hard at times, but I suffered through all the sugar highs and lows to get where I am today. I must have that job. I will battle that kid in a duel if I have to.

A candy duel. Maybe we'll throw Skittles at each other. Tie a few Twizzlers together and put a Gobstopper on top and you have a pretty deadly weapon. It's called a Twizzstopper...or maybe a Gobwizzle. heh...gobwizzle...

I'm off to get my candy arsenal ready.

Enjoy!

-DJ

skittles

I had some skittles the other day. I really liked them. It's been a long time since I sat down with a good bag of skittles. Maybe too long. And, just like when you haven't seen a good friend for a long time, you want to hug and laugh and enjoy your time together.

That is what I did with my skittles. I also ate my skittles. I don't eat my friends. I'm not a people-eating monster. Unless it is when I squish my skittles into a people-shape. Then I will PRETEND I am a people-eating monster. Only for pretend, though. Don't worry.

There is a phone number on the back of the skittles bag for comments. Actually, there is a number like that on most everything. I wanted to call the skittle number that day. Just to tell them that I really enjoyed my skittles. Then, I would like to call them everyday and tell them again and again that I love skittles.

Me: Hello.

Skittles: Hello.

Me: I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed my skittles today.

Skittles: Well thanks!

Me: Ok. Bye!

Skittles: Bye!

(Day 2)

Me: Hi again.

Skittles: Hello.

Me: I think yellow is my favorite skittle. I hope that doesn't make the other colors envious.

Skittles: I think they'll be fine. Somebody just called earlier complimenting red.

Me: Phew...I didn't want the skittles to fight for my affection.

Skittles: Don't worry. We make sure all our skittles are happy.

Me: Cool... ... ...Bye!

Skittles: Bye!

(Day 3)

Me: Hey...It's me.

Skittles: Hello

Me: I really like skittles.

Skittles: I've heard.

Me: Really? Did I tell you that?

Skittles: You did. The other day.

Me: Oh...well...yellow is my favorite.

Skittles: You told me that too.

Me: Oh...well...I love all my skittles.

Skittles: That's good.

Me: Sometimes I squish them together into a person shape and pretend I'm a people-eating monster and then eat my skittles.

Skittles: ...

Me: But...uh...I only did that once...when my friend was visiting and he told me to do it because it was fun...I didn't just do it before I called or anything.

Skittles: Uh huh.

Me: I have to go.

Skittles: Yes you do.

And that is exactly what happened the last three days! I recorded all three of the conversations. I can't wait to find out what happens today! I love the skittles people. They're so nice to me. And they talk to me on the phone.

This was one really long blog. I'm sorry my conversations are so wordy. Next time I'll try to talk less. But those skittles people can be chatty, you know?

I'm off to eat my skittles...like a monster. Roar!

Enjoy!

-DJ