tattoo yourself

I've had this blue dot on my hand for years. I mean, I remember having it in elementary school. I don't know where I got it, but it has never gone away.

WELL! I've asked around, and people are telling me that it IS possible to tattoo yourself! One theory is that I must have inked myself at a very young age so deep that the skin grew over it and now I have a small tattoo on my hand.

What's that? You say I'm totally hardcore for giving myself a tattoo?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I think I did it when I was behind bars. Crib-style. I had to show my cabbage patch kid who was the boss.

Turned out he was the boss because he took WAY more abuse than I did. And I named him Michael Knight, so he's automatically tougher than I am.

THEORY TWO! Turns out they sometimes give a small tattoo to twins. Well, one of the twins. So you know which is which. Could I have a twin? And not just a twin, but I'm the imperfect one that was dotted!

Where is this perfect version of me? Is he or she a ninja? A movie star? A vampire?

I've been told I look like a Flynn Rider. Is that my twin?! Is that who I'm supposed to be?! Why can't I be Flynn Rider?!

Okay...so maybe Flynn Rider is a stretch, but a 9-year-old girl thinks I look like him, so I'll believe her.

I'm off to find a third theory.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

wash your nose

Have you ever been washing your face and stuck your finger up your nose? IT HURTS! I guess I wash my face to vigorously. But now my nose is clean. That's a first.

OH! Did you see that there is a movie about cowboys fighting aliens?! And there is going to be ANOTHER movie coming out with dinosaurs fighting aliens!

Now my world would be complete if we could get dinosaurs vs. aliens vs. cowboys vs. ninjas vs. robots!

THAT is a movie that I would see! Put that in 3-D and you have a HIT!

Give everybody lasers and swords and stuff! Especially the dinosaurs. I want them to win the fight. Mostly because they look cool when they have swords and lasers.

But partly because dinosaurs are HUGE AND WILL RULE THE WORLD! And build GIANT NINJA-ROBOT-DINOSAURS!

That is all.

I'm off to wash my face...if my dinosaur overlords allow it.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

pen pal

Did you know that I've been cleaning out a bunch of stuff from storage? If you want some old comic books, let me know. I can probably hook you up.

I found a letter from a pen pal I had in 1987. I think I wrote one letter to him. He wrote one letter back to me. Here's what I know about my pen pal:

-His name is Derrick

-He likes to go fishing.

-His dad got him a newt.

-He was happy to get my letter.

And that's Derrick, ladies and gentlemen!

I wonder if he's still out there somewhere. I wonder if he still has the letter I sent him? Do you think he still likes fishing? What happened to that newt he was so excited about?

These are questions that I may never find answers to. I bet Derrick is thinking the same thing about me. So I'll answer Derrick's questions from my letter to him:

-I haven't gone fishing in years.

-I still like the color red.

-I did become a ninja space pirate.

There you go Derrick. All your questions are now answered. Write back.

I'm off to find a pen pal.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ