washing machine

I was doing laundry yesterday and noticed a warning on the dryer. “The dryer must be used only for water washed fabrics.”

What?! Does that mean I can wash my fabrics in something else?! Are there washing machines hooked up to gas pumps or something?

I’m no laundry expert, but I was under the impression that people washed clothes with water. Sure it would be fun to wash your clothes with pineapple juice, but you can only lick pineapple clothes for so long until your tongue gets dry.

I don’t know what you’re using, but I’m going to keep using water. Just to be safe. I don’t want the dryer to eat my clothes after washing them in canola oil. Dryers love canola oil.

By the way, I hate coupons. I always remember I have them right after I finished paying for everything. Companies know this, so they keep sending me coupons. Just to taunt me. I think they are run by Cobra Command.

Also, the G.I. Joe movie was awesome. Anybody who tells you otherwise is a liar. Or under the control of Cobra Command. Either way, you should throw socks at them.

I’m off to do my laundry…with water!

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

choices

A friend of mine got a coupon. I guess there is a store that will "reward" you for shopping with them. If you scan the card, they'll give you points and stuff. Finally, after you get some points, you can get a coupon.

But not just ANY coupon! A coupon good for one of two things! That's right, you get to CHOOSE what you want!

Her choice? A disposable toothbrush or chocolate. Seriously. That's what they give you.

WHAT?! That's not a choice! That's a desperate plea to get rid of disposable toothbrushers!

I think next month the coupon will be for a free punch in the gut or a pillow. Maybe after that they'll give you the choice of nail clippers or your very own cloud that you can ride around the world! How about the option of window cleaner or a suit made of cotton balls?!

Actually, my windows are kinda dirty, so that might be a tough one.

I'm off to brush my disposable teeth.

Enjoy!

-DJ