how to throw a tailgate party

I can honestly say that I've never been to a tailgate party. I think that requires you to go to a sports-related event game. I don't know where they even HAVE sports things. Probably some big building somewhere with lights.

And even if I found one of these mythical sports arenas, I probably wouldn't be invited to a tailgate party. I'm not very fun at parties. I'm too busy reading comic books.

But! This weekend, I learned how to throw a tailgate party! It was in an advertisement I saw in a magazine! Here is what I learned from the picture so you can do it properly.

First you have to buy a "mobile power outlet." Which is like a car battery with plug holes. So you can get power to your TV. And blender.

And THAT is item number TWO for a successful tailgate party! A blender! The three people in the ad were all drinking bottles of something, but just in case they wanted to blend anything, they had one ready!

Also needed is organic ketchup. Yep! It HAS to be organic. There was no brand label, but it was definitely a ketchup bottle. And all it said on the sticker was "organic."

Finally, you need "Curly Waves." Again, this was a bag of something with no label EXCEPT the words "curly waves." I have NO idea what a curly wave is, BUT I WANT ONE! Or maybe MORE than one!

I mean, really, would you go to a tailgate party without curly waves?! NO! And you shouldn't! That's like going to a ballet with no tights. Or a beach with no water. Or a nuclear reactor with no plutonium. It's just silliness!

And that is how you throw a tailgate party. Curly waves, tights, and plutonium.

I'm off to watch an event game of sportinessness.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj