don't hit jupit-awww...that's gonna leave a dent

An interesting question was posed the other day. Why do UFOs have lights? I found this article online. Basically, he said if beings from another planet wanted to make themselves known, they would just land and give us candy. But, if they wanted to just OBSERVE us and not chat, why would they have SUPER BRIGHT LIGHTS shining from their space craft?

It's a good question. Why DO aliens need headlights? If they can travel millions of light years to get here, don't you think they could avoid hitting a planet without the need for lights? Are they really not going to see the Kuiper Belt without some illumination going on?

I mean, if humans can create a Roomba, I'm pretty sure somebody with a background in intergalactic travel can figure out how not to hit an asteroid while moving!

Unless, of course, they just come here to disco. Which is understandable. All those flashing lights ARE pretty. And who doesn't love a good disco?

And that's why cows are always missing after a UFO comes by.

I'm off to boogaloo.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

write like right

I heard about this site called "I WRITE LIKE" or something and I tried it. Basically, you copy and paste some of your writing onto the website and it will analyze it and tell you who you write like.

Turns out, after trying three different blog entries, I write like three different people! Dan Brown, Chuck Palaha-somethingish, and Stephen King.

I actually haven't read anything by any of them. I did use my UFO blog from last week and that was the "Stephen King" write-like. Maybe I got SK because I wrote about UFOs. But I also wrote about baby ducks, which aren't scary. Unless he wrote a book about ducklings that kill you with quackness.

Or maybe they have eyes that turn into knives and shoot out at people! Those would be some scary ducklings! I would call that movie "What The Duck?!"

It would also be in 3D. Like "How To Train Your Dragon." But different...because it doesn't have dragons.

Turns out this blog is also written like Stephen King. I guess it's scary. But not in a "Cujo" kinda way. More like a "why do they let this guy write blogs" kinda way.

I'm off to write like me.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

the china ufo

Wow! Did you see that? It was a UFO in China! I watched the video. It's totally cool.

I guess it happened last week, but the videos and pictures are just coming out now. And nobody seems to know what it is.

If they do know, they aren't talkin'!

They had to shut down the Xiaoshan Airport for an hour to let this thing pass! It was like when you have to wait for some stray ducklings to cross the road.

Maybe it was a little lost ship crossing the space. It just needed to get across the sky to get to its mommy. And that stopped air traffic.

So don't be mad! It's just a baby! It doesn't know any better! Give it a break!

Sometimes you can lure baby spaceships across the sky faster with bread crumbs and plutonium. I don't know why they didn't try that.

Baby spaceships are cute. And it's funny when their feathers get all ruffled up.

I'm off to find some bread crumbs.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

it all makes sense

It is often said that crazy people are just smart people that nobody else can understand. Well, keep that in mind when I tell you about this story.

A UFO researcher in Mexico has found out that you don't have to worry about being abducted. Apparently, aliens don't want humans anymore. They want whales and dolphins. And there's a good reason.

Aliens started global warming to make the ocean levels rise. This is good because they are creating dolphin/human hybrids who will be able to live on this flooded planet. I like to call them huphins. Or dolphans...wait...that sounds the same...

I guess they have all the human DNA that they need. Since I have been abducted, they probably have my DNA and I'm being made into a huphin right now. How cool is that? I know, you're jealous.

I wonder if I'll eat fish when I'm a huphin? I don't like fish now, but I might not have a choice. Will I be able to write my blog? Will I have hands or flippers? Can I type with flippers? Can you type with flippers?

If I do become a huphin, I think I will change my name to Sunshine and become the host of a TV show for kids. Or baby dolphins. I guess they call them calves. I will teach calves how to share their fish and not hit each other with their flipper-hands.

It will be very educational. Maybe I'll collect coins, too. Huphins like shiny things.

I'm off to find pants that will fit over a flipper.

Enjoy!

-DJ