boring doesn't even begin to describe it

Scientists have used giant computers and complex algorithms to figure out the most boring day of the 20th century!  April 11, 1954 had nothing going on!  There wasn't any major news.  Nobody famous was born.  Nobody famous died.  Nothing interesting happened! 

Of course, you may disagree.  Perhaps you were born on April 11, 1954.  Sorry, but you are boring.  The scientists at Cambridge told me so. 

But now we have hit a Catch-22.  We just made the most boring day more interesting by calling it the "most boring day!"  How do we get around that? 

I have no idea.  And honestly, I don't care.  It's a boring day.  Can't we get these scientists and giant computers to give me free wi-fi instead of trying to figure out what's boring?  I can tell them what's boring: My day when I can't get online! 

How about fixing that?!  Do you know what's on the internet, Cambridge?!  Digital comics!  Recipes for pie!  Shakespearean-to-Modern English (not the band) translations of Shakespeare's plays! 

Okay, so that last one isn't really exciting, but it does help me understand Macbeth.  Which is really funny, by the way.  I just read it.  You should read it, too.  That whole part with Macduff trying to get Malcolm to come back to Scotland?  Comedy gold!

Heh..heh...I'm laughing just thinking about it.

Good times.  What was I talking about again? 

Who knows.  If it's my blog, I'm sure it wasn't important.

I'm off to laugh at Shakespeare.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

really? bacon again?

Do people really need everything to taste like bacon? Couldn't they have picked something yummy like cherries? Or sugar?

Mmmvelopes are envelopes that have a "bacon design" and when you lick the glue to seal the envelope, you get the taste of bacon in your mouth.

If I never wanted to use the mail again, I would buy these. Do people really like bacon THAT much?!

I did create "flavored glue" for envelopes for a science project once. I don't remember what I called them, but I put Kool-Aid onto the glue so you could taste grape when you licked it. They didn't really work. Maybe I should have made them bacon-flavored.

Perhaps I should make bacon bagels. And bacon coffee. And bacon gummy bears. Bacon is where the money is.

If money tasted like bacon, I bet more people would eat it. I wouldn't, so I would be the richest person in the world. Except, I would never carry money around because I don't want to smell like bacon. It's a Catch-22.

Don't ask me why.

I'm off to bring home the bacon.

Enjoy!

-DJ