so comfortable, you can wear them anywhere

Jeggings have become very popular these days.  I'm not sure why, but they have. 

If you don't know, jeggings are leggings that look like tight jeans.  They have a denim color and jeany look. 

But if you think jeggings are TOO leggingly for you, why not try Pajama Jeans!

That's right!  They LOOK like jeans, but FEEL like soft pajamas!  You will wear them around the house.  When you're traveling.  For a night out on the town.  And STILL want to wear them to bed! 

It's true!  And I want a pair.  Who wouldn't want to wear pajama pants all day?  Especially ones that will make my behind look fabulous! 

Oh, and even better, it comes with a FREE t-shirt.  Perfect for that "jeans and t-shirt" look. 

If you don't like this idea, go buy a Big Top Cupcake instead. 

OH!  I totally forgot to tell you!  I saw a shooting star the other day!  It was so cool!  It was all like, "Pshhhhh!  Fwoosh!"

I made a wish that I could find a pair of jeans that felt like pajamas.

My wish came true.  No need to thank me.

I'm off to put on pajama jeans.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

sorry green, it's time for some space

Do you have a favorite color?  I think a lot of people do.  What's your favorite?  Is it one of the primary colors?  Maybe a secondary color?  Perhaps a quintary color?

Whatever it is, is it the same as it was ten years ago? 

I've been a hardcore fan of green for most of my life.  ALWAYS loved it.  But I think I'm falling in love with purple.

I have NO idea how this happened, but it's been calling to me. 

Every time I see some purple clothes, I kinda want them.  But I know that I only look good ("look good" is a little strong, "don't look horrible" might be better) in one color: black.  So, I don't buy the purple, but I still WANT the purple.

Green is still nice, but purple is really stepping up its game. 

I didn't know you could change your favorite color.  I thought I was going to stick with green my whole life.  We had a lot of good times together.

If I can find a green and purple suit, maybe that will make both of my colors happy.

I will also look like The Joker. 

So, that's a plus. 

I'm off to color it purple.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

welcome to the tri-state area of big ugly

During my time away from work, I did a lot of things.  One of those lot was trying to find the town of Danville in a tri-state area. 

If you watch "Phineas and Ferb" on Disney, then you know what I'm talking about (and get my jokes).  They live in Danville.  I was curious where it might be.

I found out.  Sort of.  There are a bunch of Danvilles in the U.S., but none of them are close to a tri-state location.  A few are kinda bi-statey.  One is even bi-country!  Thank you, Washington! 

I also found out that Danville, WV isn't far from the Big Ugly Hunting Area! 

I thought that was quite insulting for a hunting area, but it only got that name from the Big Ugly Creek.  An early settler, possibly insecure, saw the creek many years ago and thought it was less than pretty.  So, they called it a Big Ugly Creek.  And that name stuck with it. 

So now you can go to the Big Ugly Wildlife Management Area.  Enjoy some Big Ugly scenery.  Then top it off with a Big Ugly dinner! 

That is, if you want to have a full-on Big Ugly vacation.  And who doesn't!? 

That is what I do with my free time.  Aren't you jealous.

I'm off to...hey, where's Perry?

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

shop 'til the ball drops

Would you like to shop at a store and not have to worry about other shoppers?  At all? 

Then you should go shopping on New Year's Eve! 

I did!  I know, you were probably at some party or doing some sort of celebration.  But, while you were whooping it up, I was out buying underwear on clearance! 

And YOU missed out on those deals!  Because you were too busy having fun! 

Let ME tell you about fun.  Being able to shop with NOBODY around.  Stores are open on New Year's Eve.  And they are fabulous. 

I wish I could do all my shopping for the year on the previous year's eve because it would be so easy.  And the poor kids who have to work that night would just LOVE to ring up a billion dollars worth of toilet paper. 

I did not do that.  I wasn't ready for it.  But the last day of this year?  You WILL see me shopping EVERYWHERE.  I will fill up a bunch of carts with everything I need.  Rent a moving van.  Fill it up.  Then go home and resolute to not shop for another year! 

I will also resolute to plant a sunflower.  But that's because they are pretty. 

I'm off to work on my yearly shopping list.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

in case you're interested in my year

A lot of people write letters to their friends and family about what they did during the year. Or maybe they talk about their kids or their pets or whatever. Well, I decided to do one to! So, this is what I sent out with my xmas cards this year. And I just HAD to share it with everybody!

Christmas Letter 2010

So the year started off pretty normal. Then the vortex came. Granted, the psychic goose told me to expect a rift in time/space, but not so soon!

So, in January, I had to take a few days off of work for extra-dimensional adventures. The world of XhrT was under the rule of a tyrant and they needed a hero to save the day. Luckily, under their weak star, my normal human strength was pretty hardcore. So, I took down the evil ruler and ushered in a time of peace and prosperity. It was cool.

In February, Cupid needed help dealing with a gang of mutated eagles from the sewers. Luckily, I’m pretty great with a bow and arrow and we took out the whole gang. AND made a few people fall in love. Only two people fell in love with the eagles. Cupid’s fault, not mine. I can thread a needle standing on a haystack from 80 clicks.

I also ate a lot of apples with peanut butter. It is really good.

Then, the epic battle for Christmas began! See, not a lot of people know this, but Santa has a doppelganger.

An EVIL doppelganger. So, this Atnas and I had to battle it out. Atnas wanted to take over the world. Unluckily, the big star we call the sun is the same here as it is here. That means no extra strength.

I had to do it the old-fashioned way. With an army of Fabulous Robots, lasers and swords.

The Fabulous Robots are a gang of swanky robots who know how to take care of business. By that I mean they could beat up Atnas’ goons lickity-split.

The battle raged for months. Between work, reading comics and battling the evil Atnas, it was a pretty busy June-November.

As Atnas and I were battling over the burning ruins of the lost Arctic city of Amarcta, we knew one of us was going to walk away a winner.

I looked into his eyes as our swords clashed and smiled.

He said, “Why are you smiling?”

I looked at him and said, “Because I know something that you do not.”

He said back, “And what is it.”

I said, “I am not left handed.”

BOOM! Christmas was saved. For this year.

And that’s what happened in 2010. What’s next for 2011? Well, the psychic goose did tell me that I should expect a visit from the clouds. But that can’t be too bad, can it?

Until next year.

THAT is how I spent my year. I hope your year was just as exciting.

I'm off to take a break and celebrate.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

return to sender by looking on the back flap

Not to sound like a 90's comedian, but what's up with the return address on the back of the envelope flap?  I've noticed it becoming more popular over the last few years. 

It might be old news to you.  Maybe people have been doing it for years, but I'm not used to it yet.  I look at the envelope and I get all excited to get mail and I can't see who it's from. 

THEN!  After 20 minutes of looking at the front of the envelope and seeing my name.  And a stamp.  And my name.  And a stamp.  And then my name again.  Then the stamp again.  Aaaaaaaand...yep...that's my name.  What about...nope...that's the stamp again.

(flip letter)

There it is!  On the back!  NOW I can open the letter because it is from somebody I trust.  Or not trust, but at least know well enough.  Well enough in the sense that my mail won't have an angry fish or something in it. 

There needs to be a "mail-looking-at" training course for people like me.  I'm skilled in many things.  Being a ninja.  Being a pirate.  Being a ninja pirate.  Being a pirate ninja.  But looking at envelopes is NOT one of my strong points. 

I also didn't know that you COULD put it on the back.  Do they care where the stamp and return address are on the envelope?  If not, can I just stick it in random spots?  Maybe put a few of them on there?  Is that okay?

SEE?!  I don't know the rules! 

Sometimes life is just too complicated.  Next time I'll just send a telegram.  Perhaps a singing one.  That will be much easier. 

I'm off to lick my stamps.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

salsa under the tree

Do you know what I LOVE?!

Holiday Tortilla Chips!

I think Tostitos makes them.  They are red and green!  NICE! 

Who wouldn't want to eat that?  It's perfect with a tomato salsa OR guacamole! 

This is why I love the holidays!  Red and green are great colors.  And they look even better on a tortilla chip. 

I do know that tortilla chips come from corn.  I guess they have to breed red and green corn.  That corn only blooms in December.  Lucky for us, it's just in time for Christmas! 

It's weird, but that's what I heard. 

If you are having people over for anything holiday related.  Or just red and green related.  You should buy these chips.  They will add a level of sophistication to any party. 

Maybe some day they'll be able to invent a green tomato and you can use that if your guests don't like guacamole. 

Or perhaps a red guacamole!

What is science doing?  Why aren't they working on this?

I think I'll write a letter to science letting them know what they should do.  It worked last time when I asked them to invent a green apple.  They're cool like that.

I'm off to get a stamp.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ