After two people wondered where my blog went, I decided to come back to it.
Will it be better than ever?!
Prolly not.
Will it be bigger than ever?!
Nah.
Will it be "The All New, All Different" blog?!
Sorta, I guess. And that joke only makes sense to people who read X-Men comics in the early 90s. That joke is for you!
I took a hiatus to get approval from the Food and Drug Administration. The blog now contains 100% of your daily Vitamin G! (FDA approval pending)
For Good Golly That's GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
It's almost as useful as Vitamin K. Except when it's not. Which is most of the time.
Why don't they sell pre-hard-boiled eggs? That would be handy. Especially for decorating.
Eggs do have Vitamin K. But NO Vitamin G. You can only get that here. (FDA approval pending)
I'm off to make more jokes that nobody will get.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Showing posts with label vitamin k. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vitamin k. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
president and absident
I love presidents. They are crazy!
Actually, they only seem crazy because they are really just regular people who happen to find themselves with a great deal of power.
That's right! They are regular people who do regular things! Pretty cool, right?
In theory, and practice, I could be a president. Imagine that! All the fun things that I could do in the White House!
That's why I love it when they come out with "Presidential Fackts!" I just added the "k" for extra facktiness. And Vitamin K!
Do you know what I found out? John Quincy Adams was the FIRST president to be interviewed in the nude! Yep! He was skinny dipping, as all presidents like to do, and a reporter came up and sat on his clothes.
Reporter: "I will not relinquish these clothes until you grant me an interview!"
JQ: "Okay. I will allow it. Only if you write about how snazzy my mutton chops are."
Reporter: "Can do. Now, why are you having problems with these new tariffs you worked on?"
JQ: "Grrrrr...Andrew Jackson is the problem!"
And that was pretty much John Quincy's answer to everything that went wrong. Seriously, they hated each other. They wanted to duel in Laser Tag, but it hadn't been invented yet. So they just yelled a lot.
It's shocking we made it this far as a nation. But at least we have Laser Tag now.
Have a great Presidents' Day!
I'm off to grow my mutton chops.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Actually, they only seem crazy because they are really just regular people who happen to find themselves with a great deal of power.
That's right! They are regular people who do regular things! Pretty cool, right?
In theory, and practice, I could be a president. Imagine that! All the fun things that I could do in the White House!
That's why I love it when they come out with "Presidential Fackts!" I just added the "k" for extra facktiness. And Vitamin K!
Do you know what I found out? John Quincy Adams was the FIRST president to be interviewed in the nude! Yep! He was skinny dipping, as all presidents like to do, and a reporter came up and sat on his clothes.
Reporter: "I will not relinquish these clothes until you grant me an interview!"
JQ: "Okay. I will allow it. Only if you write about how snazzy my mutton chops are."
Reporter: "Can do. Now, why are you having problems with these new tariffs you worked on?"
JQ: "Grrrrr...Andrew Jackson is the problem!"
And that was pretty much John Quincy's answer to everything that went wrong. Seriously, they hated each other. They wanted to duel in Laser Tag, but it hadn't been invented yet. So they just yelled a lot.
It's shocking we made it this far as a nation. But at least we have Laser Tag now.
Have a great Presidents' Day!
I'm off to grow my mutton chops.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
pickle in a bag
Did you know that they sell snack-pickles? (snackles, maybe? or snickles?) They are pickles in a plastic pouch for you to take on a long trip and snack on. Because I'm pretty sure EVERYBODY out there has gone on a long drive and about 3 hours into it has said, "I SO want a pickle right now!"
No? Oh, that's right, because NOBODY SAYS THAT!
I think pickles are fantastic. I have no problem with them. Give me a pickle and a glob of ketchup and I'll dip away happily. But I never eat them on the run. I have never seen anybody do that!
Pickles do provide a lot of vitamin K. K for KUH-razy! Well, that's not what it TECHNICALLY stands for, but that's how I like it. K is good for you. Even though I didn't even know there was a vitamin K. I found out that it is helpful for your bones. It is also useful against certain poisons. Not that I care, since I'm immune to all poisons. Except knives.
I just wrote a short song about it:
Pickle in a bag
Pickle in a bag
Everybody wants a pickle in a bag
You have to sing those three lines over and over again and THAT'S how we write a song.
So go get your pickle in a bag! Eat your pickle in a bag! What you do with the liquid the pickle was sitting in is your choice!
I'm off to pick a pickle.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
No? Oh, that's right, because NOBODY SAYS THAT!
I think pickles are fantastic. I have no problem with them. Give me a pickle and a glob of ketchup and I'll dip away happily. But I never eat them on the run. I have never seen anybody do that!
Pickles do provide a lot of vitamin K. K for KUH-razy! Well, that's not what it TECHNICALLY stands for, but that's how I like it. K is good for you. Even though I didn't even know there was a vitamin K. I found out that it is helpful for your bones. It is also useful against certain poisons. Not that I care, since I'm immune to all poisons. Except knives.
I just wrote a short song about it:
Pickle in a bag
Pickle in a bag
Everybody wants a pickle in a bag
You have to sing those three lines over and over again and THAT'S how we write a song.
So go get your pickle in a bag! Eat your pickle in a bag! What you do with the liquid the pickle was sitting in is your choice!
I'm off to pick a pickle.
Enjoy Everything.
-DJ
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