fish smuggler

I don't know what would compel somebody to do this, but some guy was smuggling piranhas and stingrays. He was supposed to go to court today, but he disappeared.

Possibly because of an attack by piranhas and stingrays.

Who smuggles that?! Why not smuggle something soft and fluffy?! Like cotton candy! Or maybe you could smuggle pillows!

Is there a big market for piranhas and stingrays? Do people come up to you on the street wondering if you happen to have a stingray you'd be willing to part with?

Okay, so I've been asked that a few times, but that's the kind of crowd I hang with. Because I hang with a crowd that lives underwater.

And Aquaman. He's my friend, too. We hang out and play pool.

Heh...I never understood why he laughed every time we played pool until just now. I finally get the joke Aquaman! Very funny.

I'm off to smuggle a fish.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

dancing dangers

There's a club in Austin with a fancy dance floor that you've probably never seen before. It is a 20,000 gallon tank with sharks in it! It has blacktip reef sharks, leopard sharks and four species of stingrays. And you get to dance above them!

Some people are unhappy about this. I don't know why. It's a well known fact that sharks love dancing. Have you ever seen them wiggle around in the water? It looks like they have music going on in their head all the time. They're probably mixing beats as they swim.

I bet if you gave a shark two turntables and microphone, it would show you where it's at.

And stingrays! Their pectoral fins flow like a sine wave! Put some glow sticks on those fins and it will look like you just entered a rave!

So there you go. It's actually more crueler to keep sharks in the ocean than in the dance floor. And I hate it when people are more crueler.

Seriously, you can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart. This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing with the sharks.

And possibly in the dark.

I'm off to work on my sine wave.

Enjoy!

-DJ