ninja bird vs. pirate panda

Okay, so I don't actually have any pirate pandas.  Nor do I have any ninja birds.  BUT!  That's only because they are extinct!  The birds, I mean. 

Scientists have found the bones for an extinct bird in Jamaica that would whip its wings around like nunchaku. 

So making a giant leap to a dramatic conclusion, these ninja birds fought evil pirate pandas to protect Jamaica from invasion.  Since pirate pandas like invading things. 

If you were planning a trip to Jamaica 10,000 years ago, you might want to have thought again.  In the first place, time travel is still a little shaky.  Secondly, you don't want to get attacked by ninja birds.

Ninja birds also protect the space-time continuum from time travelers like you. 

And you might look like a panda.  If you're like me, you will always wear your panda suit when you travel.  Especially for time travel. 

Other animals are extinct, too.  Like dinosaurs.  They didn't need to learn the ancient art of ninjutsu.  They were pretty huge, so really, they could just step on you. 

If a Stegosaurus DID learn martial arts, it could probably mess you up! 

Here's today's lesson: Don't travel back in time.  Ninja animals might attack you.  It's not worth it.  Unless expedia has a REALLY cheap price.  Then it might be cool. 

I'm off to nunchaku.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

baby, come back

A group of scientists gathered together in a dark room and discussed the needs of society. They found three things. Crispy M&Ms, Pop-Up Video and Doritos 3D.

Okay, so it wasn't scientists, it was just some website writing and article, but they are so right!

Crispy M&Ms?! They were awesome! I do think that Crystal Pepsi would go perfectly with Crispy M&Ms, so I will add that to my list. I call it the Crispy-Crystal Combo.

VH-1's Pop-Up Video was cool, but it needs to be done with movies and TV shows. That would be even cooler. And you should enjoy a Crispy-Crystal Combo while watching it.

And Doritos 3D...hmmm...technically, regular Doritos are not 2D, but they are flatish. So, the rounded, 3D ones were pretty cool. Now if they could make Doritos 4D, THAT would be different! Eating them might be an issue. I guess it depends on the time...and the space. (Have I used that joke before? I don't care. It's still funny!)

Is there anything you wish the world would bring back?

I'm off to get a Crispy-Crystal.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

watch me now

I just bought a new watch. I don't wear a watch, but I always have one. I stopped wearing a watch before it was cool to stop wearing a watch.

In the late 90s, before kids had cell phones, people wore watches. I HATED it. So, I started keeping a watch in my pocket. Then, I found a way to attach my keys to the watch. I just had to remove the wrist strap. After that, I've never gone back.

I've always gotten a Timex Expedition. Because it's water-proof up to 100 meters. Or down to, I guess. You never know when you're going to fall into a 99-meter deep puddle where somebody asks you the time. Happens to me every Thursday for some reason.

Guess what my new watch has on it. A COMPASS! How cool is that! I can tell you what direction I'm moving in! AND THE TIME!

I know what you're thinking. "I can buy a compass anywhere. That's nothing special."

Well, is the compass ATTACHED TO YOUR WATCH!? I didn't think so!

It's also good because I got lost in my puddle last Thursday. This compass will help me out a lot.

Now I'll always know where I am in space and time. Though I guess that's relative. (HA! That's right! It's a physics joke! I'm not ashamed!)

I'm off to go north.

Enjoy!

-DJ