sweaty and sober is no way to go through life

And that is why you can buy a popsicle made out of vodka. Granted, it's $500 vodka, but it's frozen!

ALSO! If you are a big spender, you can get it with gold flakes inside for $1000!

You know what's great?! Frozen orange juice. I like the Minute Maid Kids brand. It has a smiley face on the carton.

I used to freeze Kool-Aid, too. But that got a little too expensive for me, so I don't do that anymore.

Frozen gold flakes, though? TOTALLY AWESOME! They're kind of like Frosted Flakes, but golder and with more crunch. It's the perfect breakfast to have when you want to impress a robber baron from 1929.

Robber Baron: "Tally Ho, my good friend! Are those Frozen Gold Flakes you are eating?"

You: "They are! *CRUNCH*

Robber Baron: "I'm impressed! But don't they hurt your gums like the dickens?"

You: "They do! *CRUNCH*

Robber Baron: "Bully!"

And that is why people were so prosperous in 1929. Those were glorious times.

I'm off to freeze some O.J.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

moon water

There is water on the moon. They found it last year. Since then, scientists have been studying the water and found that it comes in three different flavors!

Here they are: Nearly Pure Crater Ice, Fluffy Mix Of Ice Crystals And Dirt, and Thin Layer That Comes And Goes All Across The Surface Of The Moon.

You may not remember this, but each one of those was once a Kool-Aid flavor. Unfortunately, the names weren't catchy enough, so they went with Purplesaurus Rex.

THAT is why the moon needs to change the names of its water flavors. Luckily for the moon, I have suggestions.

Nearly Pure Crater Ice can simply become Crater Ice. It has a nice ring to it. And I think it should be clear colored.

Fluffy Mix Of Ice Crystals And Dirt can become Fluffy Crystals. Make it neon orange and you have a drink!

Finally, Thin Layer That...whatever...can be Moonasaurus Rex. And make it purple.

Okay, so I kinda stole that from Kool-Aid. But it's so cool to have dinosaur names! I just couldn't help myself!

I don't actually know what each flavor of moon-water tastes like, but in my head they taste like cotton candy and caramel. Maybe cherry, too.

I'm off to drink some moon.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

the greatest prize

The lottery here in America isn't bad. A lot of people win money. I won a dollar the other day. I felt pretty awesome. Of course, one dollar isn't as cool as winning an island.

Yeh Chien-wei is a 4-year-old boy who won the lottery in Taipei last week. He won the use of an uninhabited island for five trips over five months.

You know what that means? Kool-Aid beach party at Yeh's place!

I could totally see this as a movie premise. Yeh and his family go to the island only to find out it is haunted by dinosaur ghosts. Yeh becomes friends with a ghost T-Rex named Teddy, who will look cute and friendly so it's more marketable. Yeh visits the island for years and grows up with Teddy and all his other dinosaur friends. Until one day, Yeh is all grown up and life gets in the way of him visiting the island. When he finally returns, he can't find Teddy. And we're left to wonder if they were ever real at all. Ooooooh.

I think they were. Of course, I'm pretty much a fan of anything with dinosaurs and want them to still exist. Or robots. I like them too.

Hopefully this will be made into a movie. Starring me, so I can get paid for my idea.

Oh, and I think I'll call it, "Dinosaur Island!"

My next movie idea involves robot ghosts. On a fjord. I'll call it "Ghost Fjord!"

Sometimes I amaze myself.

This is not one of those times.

I'm off to play the lottery.

Enjoy!

-DJ