sign language

Here's something you might not know. I don't sport. I know there is a sport called baseball. I know that you often have to catch things in various sports. Unless they are on ice. Then you have to hit things. Like each other. Besides that basic knowledge, I'm pretty much lost.

I was doing some research on the web (aka goofing off) and I saw that it was National Signing Day. I thought, "Wow! I've always wanted to learn sign language. Maybe I should do my blog in sign language today. That would be fun!" My thought was quickly unthunk as soon as I saw what National Signing Day was.

This is the day that high school football players send a letter to the colleges that they plan on going to. Then they can play college football and hopefully make big money in the NFL.

If I only saw a headline that said, "It's National Signing Day," then I would never, in a kabillion years, have thought of football. A kabillion is a big number, if you didn't know. Your math teacher may have forgotten to teach it to you.

In my attempt to fit in, I would like to give you my "scripts" for sports conversations. It works the majority of the time. You can choose one of the following sentences.

"Did you see that catch he made?!"

"He moves like a rocket!"

"The Patriots...Tom Brady...kicking."

That last one is for football, but the first two can be used in most sports except hockey. The good thing is that nobody watches hockey unless they are Canadian. So as long as you avoid Canadians, you won't have to worry about weird conversations about icing and checking. Heck, it's probably just sound advice to avoid Canadians in general. Heh...heh...

I'm off to watch the replay of that amazing jumping catch he made on the field.

Enjoy!

-DJ

put the lime in the cocoa butter

I went to the store this weekend and needed lip balm. That's not that only thing I needed, but I don't think you want my entire grocery list. Heck, I even bought stuff that wasn't on the list...like cookies...twice.

Anyway, I chap easily, so I generally have lip balm with me. I usually get a plain one or that minty bert's bees one, but this time I found something awesome.

Lime Rocket. SHOOOOOOOOOM!

Well, the shooooom isn't really part of the title, but if there were an actual lime rocket, I imagine it would blast off with a shooooom sound.

In my glossy excitement, I purchased my certified organic lime rocket lip balm. After the excitement wore off, I realized I might have bought a girl product. I'm not sure, though.

Lime is a manly scent, isn't it? I like the smell of lime. You might see a lime playing football. Limes enjoy a good mexican beer. Limes get into bar fights a lot. I've seen limes play with hammers and smash stuff. Those are all generally manish things, right?

Why do I think it COULD be for the ladies? It's in a larger container which could mean it's meant for a purse instead of a pocket. It smells like lime. I know that was my man defense, but it would work for women too. And it's not just any lime smell, it's a pretty lime smell. Also, I've seen limes in high heels. Limes enjoy watching Grey's Anatomy. I've even seen limes wearing lipstick.

So, you can clearly see my dilemma. I'm still going to use it, though. It smells like lime candy. I like lime candy. I want lime candy smell under my nose. I bet you do too. If you say you don't, you're lying. Limes don't like it when you lie. Or steal. So don't take my lime rocket.

I'm off to smell my lime-lips.

Enjoy!

-DJ