the dark side of toast

If you're looking to have some good toast in the morning, this is not for you. This is for people who want bad toast. Like, evil toast. So evil that they would build a weapon the size of a small moon. And call it a Death Star.

If that's you, then the Star Wars toaster is just what you're looking for. It will make your toast AND make a darker image of Darth Vader on the toast!

The force is strong in that toaster. At least, the force of the heat from the Darth Vader image is strong.

You know what you CAN do! Jam the transmission! HA! (Spaceballs joke!). If you don't want Vader's message getting out, you can put some jam on his face and make sure the empire never gets the order to blow up Tattooine.

You could jelly the transmission, too. But that's not as funny. And it doesn't make me think of Spaceballs, which IS funny. You should watch that movie.

Breakfast would be pretty dramatic every day. So that would be cool, too.

Me: I'll never join you!

Me (speaking into my sippy cup to get a cool Darth Vader echo): If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Me: He told me enough! He told me you killed him.

Me (as Vader): No. I am your father.

Me (as me): No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!

Me (as Vader): Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Me (as me again): No! Nooooooo! *CRUNCH!*

I crunch because I ate the toast, not because I fell down an air shaft in Cloud City. That would be cool, but I would also be missing my hand. Not so great.

I'm off to use the force...to butter my toast.

Enjoy!

-DJ