Did you hear the story about actress Rosario Dawson? She doesn't have kids, but when she does, she said that she will lick their face in public if they ever get rowdy.
How did she get this gross idea, you ask? Her mom did it to her. Yep. That's how moms quiet their kids. A good face licking.
I guess it could work. I would not act up if I knew that my face would get licked. Of course, if I saw a mother doing that to her child at the store, I might call security. That just seems cruel and unusual. Mostly unusual.
Do you do anything that horrible to your kids? Couldn't you think of something a little less...um...face licky? I mean, aren't people arrested for doing stuff like that?
I'm pretty sure I was, but that whole week is a bit hazy, so I can't be sure. All I know is that I can't go to Arizona or Utah anymore.
Or purchase cream of wheat. In any state.
I really can't divulge any more information. I'm sure you'll learn about it when the investigation becomes public record.
I'm off to NOT get my face licked.
Enjoy!
-DJ
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