Showing posts with label magic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label magic. Show all posts

Monday, January 31, 2011

powdered milk goes great with powdered toast

I don't get how powdered milk works. I understand the basic idea. It's milk that is dried. Add water and you have some liquid milk again!

But why does it last longer? Milk goes bad after a certain amount of time. Water does not. Take the water out of milk, the milk should STILL go bad, right?!

That makes sense to me! Now, I'm no scientist, but I AM related to a doctor and a physicist. So clearly, I know what I'm talking about.

The answer is clearly magic. Like Harry Potter-style magic! Powderus Stayus Unspoilicus!

I wish there were more magic powder foods. I wonder if powdered milk works like pixie dust. It DOES have magical properties. Maybe I should sprinkle some powdered milk on my head to see what happens.

I bet I can fly. Or at least jump REALLY high. Like, maybe a foot off the ground! THAT would be high!

If I can get my hands on some powdered eggs, I bet I could hold my breath for 17 seconds.

I know, that's almost unheard of!

That's what happens when you use magic to make food.

I'm off to put the power in powder.

Enjoy Everything.

-DJ

Friday, September 26, 2008

magic

I enjoy magic. It's fun. I know it's illusions and silliness, but it's illusions and silliness that I can't do, so it's fun to watch somebody else do it.

I like the classics. Pulling coins out of your ear or picking the right card out of the deck. I would like to know how to get coins out of people's ears because then I could have lots of money. I would just pull big bills out of people and keep it.

"OOOH! Look what came out of your head! A twenty dollar bill!"

"WOW!"

"See ya!" (running away)

Ha! They wouldn't know what hit them. I bring this up because of David Blaine. I heard about his "hanging upside-down" trick and saw that the ending was a dud. Before I get to that, I want to say that David Blaine seems like a decent magician.

I went on youtube to find the lame ending to his trick, but instead a bunch of his "street tricks" came up. He does this one where he steals your watch when he's doing a card trick. It's funny. I'd probably punch him in the face if he did it to me, but that's because I usually keep my watch in my pocket and that would be rude.

So, are you ready for the big finale to his "I'm gonna hang upside-down" trick? He was supposed to dive from a 44-foot high platform and before he hit the bottom he would be carried away by balloons. Instead, he just jumped down, not really a dive, hung there for a moment and then floated away. It was pretty lame. I have a feeling that if he dove, it still would have been pretty lame.

His "illusions" aren't really illusions at all. Is hanging upside-down really an illusion? He lived in a fish tank for a few days a while ago. Is that really an illusion? I don't think so. I don't get the trick. It's more like performance art. Which is all fine and dandy, but don't tell me it's an illusion. UNLESS he wasn't really hanging upside-down or living underwater and was, in fact, sitting on a couch eating Sun Chips. That would be a good trick, but I don't think that's what happened.

Let me tell you about REAL magic. Harry Potter. Yeah. Try THAT David Blaine. I'd like to see you fight off Chris Angel by yelling "Expelliarmus!" I bet that would do a whole lot of NOTHING! BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HARRY POTTER!

I bet he can't even play quidditch. Pffft...loser.

I'm off to platform nine and three quarters.

Enjoy!

-DJ