that's an expensive bedazzling

A designer in India has created a line of shirts that start at just $974! They are so cheap because they are encrusted with jewels and diamonds and gold.

He says that they are perfect to wear every day. But really, would you want to wear a shirt worth that much every day? What if a jewel fell off? You just lost $50!

Here's my solution. BeDazzler. Cheap AND beautiful.

Like they say, "don't be dull, BeDazzle!"

And really, that's basically my mantra for life. I say it every morning when I look in my bedazzled mirror.

Even yesterday after dropping a knife on my foot (or possibly the knife was thrown onto my foot by a ninja cow, I'm not sure), I thought, "I wish that was a dull knife. Then my foot wouldn't hurt as much."

But IMMEDIATELY after, I shouted, "NO! No knife! You should never be dull! Be Dazzle!"

My knife then got washed and I cleaned up the blood.

That's the exciting life of a bedazzled man.

The limping, shimmering life that only costs $19.95.

I'm off to dazzle.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

watch for flying shoes

Do you remember when Bush was president? I know it was a long time ago, but try to think back. Near the end of his term, somebody threw their shoe at him. Which, in India, is a horrible insult.

Well, India will be holding their general election soon and the politicians are worried about shoe throwers. They are asking for increased security and for people to take their shoes off before a news conference. I know it's pretty offensive, but if that's all they have to worry about in India, then politics is a lot safer over there.

What would candidates be worried about here? Weapons? Maybe guns? I'm sorry India, but if somebody throws a shoe at you because they don't agree with your politics, I would move on!

One of the candidates had a slipper thrown at them. A slipper! I bet they didn't even get a bruise!

I don't really know HOW insulting the shoe-throw is, but it can't be as insulting as an anvil from an anvil-launcher. Or, maybe it can. I don't get to India much, so I really don't know.

And how can you be SURE it's an insult. What if the slipper was thrown by some lady and it had her hotel room number on it. You know...a slipper...wink wink. He should have checked it for her digits.

I guess I would have to grow up in India to understand. If anybody threw a shoe at me, I would just think, "Ooooh, free shoe!" That's the sort of positive spin that folks in India need. I'm just trying to help with world peace and all. World peace also involves pudding. I can't tell you how, yet. It's a surprise.

I'm off to secure my shoes.

Enjoy!

-DJ